I so enjoyed Psalm 31 yesterday so I decided to swim around in it again today for my morning devotions today. Actually, I have an outline now for a devotional called 30 Days in Psalm 31. Hopefully, it won't take me long to get it together. There's just so much in this one little psalm. It's got all the right elements trust, raw emotions, rejection, social isolation, fear, prayer, declarations, and faith. Does it seem like to you that we can vacillate so easily from faith to fear and back again? For caregivers, it's all in a day's work.
One minute we're on top of the world feeling like we've got it all together and the next, we are in the bottom, alone, grieving, and afraid. I think it may just be me until I read a psalm like this where the psalmist lays it all out too. One second he's declaring I will trust in the Lord and the next he's sobbing my eyes are wasting away with grief. How often do we face days like that? I know I trust God, there's no doubt - but life still hurts like you-know-what! The pain doesn't stop in weak moments or in strong. Grief doesn't take but very brief breaks occasionally. It can simply be overwhelming.
I thank God for psalms like this one that allows me to be human... a piece of dust who trusts in God in the midst of the crazy emotions, stressful situations and long hours of caregiving. It assures me that going from fear to faith and doubt to trust and grief to prayer is somewhat normal. God doesn't turn a deaf ear to our spinning hearts in a crazy world. He's right there to be our fortress. He doesn't resign as our rock - it's a job He takes gladly and He's consistent at it.
My job is just to remind myself of it over and over and to keep returning to that point of trust and seeking Him as my refuge when life overwhelms.
Today, I will declare my allegiance to God - my trust in Him. I'll rest in Him as the rock of refuge and the strong tower I can run to when I feel anything but strong. I'll remind myself that He preserves the faithful and that He will strengthen my heart - if for no other reason than that I can trust Him more. And trust I will - will you join me?
I was thrust into caregiving when my son was in a tragic accident but soon found that there's a whole world of "us" out there! Many times we find ourselves alone. Even the church can disappear quickly and good friends distance themselves because our world has changed. But God does not change with circumstance. My faith is what has carried me through and these devotions will hopefully help us all make one more day - encouraged in Him.
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