Monday, May 20, 2019

Same - But Different

As caregivers, I know you understand how difficult the days and nights can be. Even our best days can be filled with struggles. Each day seems to take all that we have to make it through emotionally and physically. Some days are darker than others, aren't they? We can be going along at a good speed with everything going well - supplies on time, meals delivered, our loved one has a good day, a friend calls... or we just have a moment to catch our breath!

But there are those other days too, the topsy-turvy ones where it seems nothing goes right. Equipment breaks (usually the weekend too!), supplies didn't get ordered and now you're out, help doesn't show up. I know you know the drill all too well.

Then there are those dark times. For me, it is usually the middle of the night. Chris isn't feeling well or he's running a high fever and I have exhausted my resources. Those times when I am not sure what to do and I do not have the capacity to just make it better can be the most frustrating. I think it was Oswald Chambers who first coined the term, dark night of the soul. As caregivers, I know you understand those unexplainable, difficult times.

And with those dark times in mind, but hopefully far away for now - verse 12 in Psalm 139 has more significance to me. David says this:

Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You
But the night shines as the day;
the darkness and the light are both alike to You.

I used to wonder about this verse, but as I was reading it again this morning it suddenly made sense. My original thinking was that He is light - so He can't see darkness. But I think there's a little different way to look at it. He sees the darkness alright. It's just that His vision isn't affected by my darkness. He doesn't need to squint to see what is going on in my life even in the darkest night. He sees just as well when my days are as bright and cheery as they can be and days when my emotions are boiling over with fear and anxiety. It all looks the same. He looks the same. He is calm. He is peace. He is light. He is comfort. His vision is not obscured by my darkness, not in the least. He sees just fine no matter what I am facing. And He's right there to help me make it through.

Today, I will meditate on how He can see in my darkness. I'll think about how it all looks the same to Him day and night. I'll rejoice in the truth that when my way is difficult - His vision didn't change. He still sees my path, He still sees the end, and He still sees me!

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