Skip to main content

Mind Will and EmoTioNs

This morning, I revisited Psalm 31. There is so much packed into those 24 verses. I've begun work on a devotional called 31 Days in Psalm 31. It's so rich. In my reading this morning, I stopped once again in verse 7 where David says, You have known my soul in adversities. I love that part of the verse. The soul is the innermost seat in us - it houses our mind, will, and emotions. I'm not telling fellow caregivers anything new when I say our emotions and our minds can be all over the place. We can go from extreme happiness to debilitating depression in a matter of minutes. Our highs and lows can be triggered by a photo, a hope, a loss, or a single word. Sometimes, nothing in particular can cause us to fall off the edge - we live on it. But God keeps up with it all and never misses a thing.

So I let my mind camp there for a bit and consider how God keeps up with the daily adversities of caregiving. In Psalm 139:23, David prays for God to know his anxious thoughts. I'm not sure he needed to pray that - God sees. He knows how crazy our emotions and thoughts can be - and how they can be all over the place. He understands us when no one else can - or when we don't even understand ourselves. And it doesn't scare Him away.

So, as I was meditating on all these things, I found myself looking at Psalm 139:23-24 again. David is again bringing his anxious thoughts before the Lord. It seems like he does that often. Maybe that helps me not feel so bad about it. He finishes out 139 with this prayer:

Search me O God and know my heart
Try me and know my anxieties
See if there is any wicked way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting.

I like that David is bringing his anxieties before the Lord and I love the completeness of this prayer. He specifically asks God to search his heart - to know his heart and to try him. It demonstrates a high level of trust to be comfortable asking God to walk around in your heart. But to be vulnerable enough before Him and asking Him to take a look at your anxious thoughts - that's pure worship. But David goes further. He asks God to search him, to try him - and then to lead him. May we be that yielded before God in our caregiving today.

Today, I will trust God enough to pour out my anxious thoughts before Him. My meditations will be on how He can search me, try me, and know me - and still love me passionately. (People can't always do that.) I'll think about how He doesn't look the other way at my fears, dashed hopes, losses or worries. He pulls me close and tells me it is okay. And I will sit right there with Him and trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

But I Have Today

Do you ever have days that are just heavier than others? Of course, you do - who am I talking to? Saturday was Chris' 37th birthday. For some reason, it was unusually hard as I thought of where all his friends are today. You know, married, having kids, and enjoying their careers. I cried more than once that day. I grieved over what should have been, what could have been.  I hugged him a little tighter and thought about the progress he's made recently. The other night, I am certain he "sang" to me after I got him in bed. It was the sweetest thing and I posted it in his Facebook group where I share things I don't feel I can share as "publicly." He's moving more and initiating more of his movement on his own. There are many things to rejoice about. At the same time, I am getting older. My joints hurt and I wonder how much longer I can take care of him. I fear the day that I won't be able to. This is the way the rest of my life looks, and I am okay w

Living Grief

 As caregivers, many of us deal with daily grief and a constant sense of loss. Even though we don't feel these emotions all of the time, they do keep coming back. For me, mine is often sparked by seeing something on my Facebook feed. I'll see one of Chris' friends or a memory and it'll tip my emotional bucket right over. Living grief is one of those things the church doesn't know how to deal with. Well, honestly, who really knows how to deal with it? It's not just going to go away, now is it? :-) In some hyper-faith circles, grief is pretty much forbidden. Yet even under the old law, it was allowed room. If you lost a close loved one such as a spouse, parent, or sibling, you were given an entire year to mourn. Our culture allows a little time, but then we are expected to be back at work, back at church, or back to our daily lives after a very short time. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other. But living grief continues. When we deal with parents wh

The Best Meeting

  I know I've written quite a few times about Hagar, but her story intrigues me. I think I can relate to the rejection and loneliness she must have felt. In numerous devotions, I've talked about how God met her right where she was. She did have God "find" her twice. But there are other people in the scriptures that God met too. The list is a bit longer when we start thinking about how many times God met someone along the way. Twice He came and ministered to Hagar, He met Saul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), He met Balaam and stopped him before he sinned against God (Numbers 22). Jesus went through Samaria on purpose  to speak with the woman at the well. He crossed two taboos in their time - going through Samaria and speaking to a woman! (John 4) He walked out to the disciples in a storm in Matthew 8. And the Angel of God came to Gideon when he was hiding from the Midianites in Judges 6. It's easy for today's religious thinkers to label these Bible characters