Thursday, July 11, 2019

All In a Day's Work

 Caregivers are an amazing breed. That's been my experience anyway, with all the caregivers I've been privileged to meet. Daily tasks are quite difficult for most - no matter what level of caregiver you feel you are. Even long-distance caregiving has it's set of difficulties. Making choices for another person just isn't easy. Some days are so difficult just trying to decide whether Chris (my son with a TBI) would prefer to sit in his wheelchair, the recliner, or the rocker - can be so hard to decide.

For the most part, we just take those difficulties in stride. It's all in a day's work, isn't it? Then there are days like my Tuesday this week. You know those days - something gets chunked in the way to change up our already complex navigations. For me, this week, it was a major asthma attack. On top of that, I actually had plans for Tuesday night. I was supposed to teach a Bible Study class at the church we've started attending. Being type A - having made a plan I couldn't possibly fulfill is even more frustrating. But when urgent care came to the house and couldn't do a thing - the ER was the next logical step. But it's all in a day's work.

We loaded up and headed to the ER and were there until late evening. He's okay of course and they did let me bring him home even though they wanted to keep him overnight because of low oxygen levels. But it sure put a kink in things. How do we handle this sort of thing? It's emotional, it's frustrating, it's crippling - for me anyway. Maybe it's just me - but I am just now trying to make any plans at all. This is the reason I haven't for so long. They can get interrupted so easily and my fear is others will think I am unreliable - etc. (Type A - remember!)

But with it all - no matter what comes in a day we learn over time - as we stay sensitive to Him - to just let it go. I don't have to manage anyone else's emotions - mine are quite enough! lol. I can take all those emotions to Him and pour out my heart before Him (I was ready. I was excited!!!) and He understands. He knew beforehand. Didn't He?  It's okay to lay it all out before Him just like you see it - and let Him share with you how He sees it. How He sees you.

Today, I will purposefully give my emotions to Him. I'll ask Him how HE views me - not the church, not my friends, not my family - what does He see when He looks at my heart? I'll be content that He knows what a "day's work" is for me - how hard I try to keep it all together on every level - and I'll give it to Him one more time as I trust Him for one more day - because He is enough. Will you join me?

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