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Hard Questions

I woke up with a particular scripture on my mind this morning. It didn't take long until I found it in Habakkuk. Since the whole book only contains three chapters I decided to read the entire thing. I'm glad I did. It started out with the prophet asking a lot of questions. He was asking God for some answers.

In the first chapter, Habakkuk starts with a question I believe to be common for some caregivers. O Lord, how long shall I cry, and You will not hear? David asked similar questions in Psalm 13... On this caregiving journey, I must say I have wondered if God still hears my cry - if He still understands my heart. Habakkuk goes on to ask God why He allows me to see trouble....

 God did answer Habakkuk, but the prophet came up with more questions. The discourse continues for the first couple of chapters. Chapter 3 is Habakkuk's prayer which ends with the verse I was looking for. Before I get to that, let me say God is not scared of our questions. I've asked some hard ones - some crazy ones. His shoulders are big enough to carry all my concerns. He doesn't get scared and He doesn't run away. I really think the fact that we still ask questions indicate we still trust Him and we are still looking to Him.

See, Habakkuk ended this short book with his statement of faith. I think maybe we should make it a caregiver's motto. Habakkuk didn't clearly understand the devastation and turmoil he was witnessing - and God didn't just make it all go away. As I look at my personal caregiving situation - I know my aunt will pass one day. I know my mom will too. But my son is young - I could very well live out the rest of my days just.like.this. I have to adopt Habakkuk's Hymn of Faith.

Though the fig tree may not blossom
Nor fruit be on the vines
Though the labor of the olive may fail
And the fields yield no food
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold
And there be no herd in the stalls
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord 
I will joy in the God of my salvation
the Lord God is my strength.....

Notice the "I will" in his faith statement. Today, I will find my I will. No matter what it looks like - no matter what it feels like - no matter what I face... I will yet praise Him. I will trust Him for He is my strength. I will be confident in Him. What is your I will today?

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