The Invisible Woman

Me and Chris standing at Sutton Wilderness

Several things have occurred lately that remind me of the social isolation so many caregivers experience. Even in a crowd, many times we are alone. Even when people do talk to us on outings (if we can even get out!) they can't connect with us beyond the obvious. They only see us as a person behind the chair. I've done a few other blogs about being more than a caregiver and life behind the chair. But as we've been able to get out more frequently, it's come to light again - that invisible feeling. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just the invisible woman. lol

It's not easy to do normal things others take for granted. Things we really want to do - but just are not feasible. Take going to church for example. Often, there's no fellowship - no one knows how to reach out because we stand out as so different. It's not their fault - they really don't know that they can still ask you out for coffee or lunch. Personally, I find myself in situations wondering why in the world I'm even trying. What's the point? Seriously. It's not worth the "social interaction" if you are just ignored. I'm pretty sure that doesn't count for "interaction."

These are the types of thoughts I've had this week as I am rolling a lot around in my mind. My son has been ill most of the week with health care professionals in and out - that's after the ER visit we had between services last Sunday. It's just a serious reaction to the antibiotic - but he's finally kicked it or so it seems. But these things make me think more deeply.

I want to get him out more - but I need to focus on what is good for him as well as good for me. In nature - I'm not invisible. Somehow I connect and marvel at the vast goodness, creativity, and immaculate care of God. I look at the precise detail He gave to little things like a pansy - Carefully drawing lines and accenting various parts with complimentary colors. Does He not care this much for us - even when we feel invisible?

I'm sorry if you feel invisible today. I hope you don't - it's not fun. But if you do - take a look at Psalm 139 (I spend a lot of time in this psalm!). I love the last part of verse 3 - He is acquainted with all my ways not just my deeds. He knows more than what I do - caregiving - and sees inside to the whole person who is pursuing Him. He has no box for me to fit in. He longs for fellowship and communion with us. That didn't change one little bit when caregiving happened. We are not invisible to Him - He sees. He knows. He cares.

Today, I will rejoice because He sees me right where I am - in all this emotional mess. I'll be thankful He didn't run away and He doesn't ignore me. He still bids me to "come" to Him and find rest. I suppose that indicates I still have to work to enter His rest! But I'm thankful that the invitation to the invisible woman still stands!

Comments

Ups and Downs

Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

Seasons Are Temporary

This morning, I found myself reading in Isaiah 28. I ended up there because I was looking for something in particular, and even though I didn't find what I was looking for, I found what I needed. God's so cool like that, isn't He? My eyes first fell on verse 29, which says in the NKJ: This also comes from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. I rolled that over in my mind and heart a few times and spent a few minutes thinking about how I'd seen His counsel in action in my own life. We've all had those times when we weren't sure what to do or where to go, and suddenly, an idea drops into our thoughts. There are many ways He provides direction for us. He may direct our steps through a passage of scripture, a trusted spiritual leader such as a pastor, a YouTube teacher, and maybe even a lowly blog writer. Lol. No matter how He chooses to deliver His counsel, it comes - but we must listen. After I had rolled these thoughts and t

Seek and Ye Shall Find

Over the last few weeks, I've been trying to strategize ways of dealing with stress. It's something we all deal with, especially caregivers. I'm walking and exercising more, which helps the body get rid of stress and it helps improve sleep to some degree. But I've also been working on training my thoughts. I've been working on purposefully finding things to be thankful for. At first, it was a bit difficult because let's face it, caregiving is hard work. This morning, I was plugging Chris into a nebulizer for a breathing treatment as he had an asthma attack yesterday afternoon after we'd been out for a little bit. As I was doing his treatment and his tube feeding, I didn't even really think about it; this "thought" just rolled up out of me. I thought, thank you, Lord, for carrying us through the long night. My own thankfulness surprised me! Lol. I realized at that moment that it's getting easier and easier to be thankful, even for the litt

Daily Devotions for Caregivers

Search This Blog