Skip to main content

He Won’t Forget


My mom has a form of dementia. Right now, she does remember us, but she doesn’t remember life events. Many caregivers I meet are caring for parents with Alzheimer’s or dementia of some kind. It’s so hard on the emotions and heart because they still look like mom and dad, but they are not fully there. My mom has no memories of the ministry we did together for all those years. We traveled some and she’d speak at women’s meetings and I’d usually take my guitar and do some music. One year, we planned a whole women’s retreat. Our good friend Johnnie H. came and spoke, and I did all the music with our friend Linda P. Such good memories – but she doesn’t recall them at all.

Of course, my mom isn’t the one “suffering” so to speak. She’s chipper, friendly, and still loves everyone. She just doesn’t remember her life and all the people she impacted through her years of serving as a nurse and a minister. It’s sad for us – but she seems fine with it. She’s not troubled over it – because she really doesn’t know.

All of this was going through my mind this morning as I was reading in Isaiah 49. Verses 14 to 16 in the New American Standard translation read:

But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me,
And my Lord has forgotten me.”
Can a woman forget her nursing child?
And not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely, they may forget you,
Yet I will not forget you.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continuously before me.

Our parents may forget – and it’s a horrible feeling. The person we knew who cared for us when we were children, those who raised us to be adults and parents of our own children, don’t even remember it. The comfort here is that even if they forget us – God won’t. This verse says: they may forget – but I will not forget you.

Caregiving is tough, no doubt. We can suffer from loneliness and social isolation. Our friends walk away because they don’t know what to do with us. The church doesn’t know what to do with us either and they turn their attention to the younger generation. It’s so easy to feel like we fell through the cracks and no one is coming in after us. We don’t feel worth it.

But we are to Him! God has His eye and His heart on us. This says he has tattooed us on the palm of His hand – it’s not possible for Him to forget us because we have become part of Him.

Today, my heart hurts because my mom doesn’t remember; but I’ll shift my focus to the One who cannot forget. My meditation will be on the steadfastness of His memory which has extended into these caregiving years. People seem to forget, church seems to forget, friends have forgotten it seems, but He knows right where I am and senses everything I feel right now. He’s that close – and He won’t move away. The world may forget us – but He doesn’t have the ability to forget us! And for that – I am thankful today.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Living Grief

 As caregivers, many of us deal with daily grief and a constant sense of loss. Even though we don't feel these emotions all of the time, they do keep coming back. For me, mine is often sparked by seeing something on my Facebook feed. I'll see one of Chris' friends or a memory and it'll tip my emotional bucket right over. Living grief is one of those things the church doesn't know how to deal with. Well, honestly, who really knows how to deal with it? It's not just going to go away, now is it? :-) In some hyper-faith circles, grief is pretty much forbidden. Yet even under the old law, it was allowed room. If you lost a close loved one such as a spouse, parent, or sibling, you were given an entire year to mourn. Our culture allows a little time, but then we are expected to be back at work, back at church, or back to our daily lives after a very short time. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other. But living grief continues. When we deal with parents wh

The Best Meeting

  I know I've written quite a few times about Hagar, but her story intrigues me. I think I can relate to the rejection and loneliness she must have felt. In numerous devotions, I've talked about how God met her right where she was. She did have God "find" her twice. But there are other people in the scriptures that God met too. The list is a bit longer when we start thinking about how many times God met someone along the way. Twice He came and ministered to Hagar, He met Saul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), He met Balaam and stopped him before he sinned against God (Numbers 22). Jesus went through Samaria on purpose  to speak with the woman at the well. He crossed two taboos in their time - going through Samaria and speaking to a woman! (John 4) He walked out to the disciples in a storm in Matthew 8. And the Angel of God came to Gideon when he was hiding from the Midianites in Judges 6. It's easy for today's religious thinkers to label these Bible characters

But I Have Today

Do you ever have days that are just heavier than others? Of course, you do - who am I talking to? Saturday was Chris' 37th birthday. For some reason, it was unusually hard as I thought of where all his friends are today. You know, married, having kids, and enjoying their careers. I cried more than once that day. I grieved over what should have been, what could have been.  I hugged him a little tighter and thought about the progress he's made recently. The other night, I am certain he "sang" to me after I got him in bed. It was the sweetest thing and I posted it in his Facebook group where I share things I don't feel I can share as "publicly." He's moving more and initiating more of his movement on his own. There are many things to rejoice about. At the same time, I am getting older. My joints hurt and I wonder how much longer I can take care of him. I fear the day that I won't be able to. This is the way the rest of my life looks, and I am okay w