Thursday, January 20, 2022

Got a Dump Truck?

me and chris at the park

Do you ever have those days where you feel like you have a dump truck full of emotions? You're just looking for someplace to back up to and dump it all out, right? Today, for whatever reason, I feel that way. My emotions are over the top and I just don't want to do anything - but I want to do everything - all at once. I'm guessing it's just part of the caregiver's fog. lol

What's awesome about God is my crazy thoughts and whirlwind emotions don't scare Him away. Unlike people, He won't avoid me when I'm running full throttle toward nothing in particular. Instead, He patiently waits until I'm ready to dump it all at His feet. Then, once I do - His peace will fill the void left behind.

But sometimes, it takes a long time to get to the place where you can pour out your heart before Him. (Psalm 62:8) Maybe it's because there aren't the exact words needed to express what we are feeling. Maybe there is just too much to put into a few words or sentences, or even paragraphs. And maybe sometimes, it's just that we can't put our finger on it - whatever it is. We are stuck.

Yet He waits patiently. He waits as the emotional dump truck becomes fuller and fuller and fuller. He waits as it begins to topple over the top of the rails and falls like tears to the ground. He waits until we can't bear it anymore... He waits for us to back that dump truck up and dump it all out at His feet. Maybe it's frustration. Perhaps it's fear. For some of us, it's overwhelm. For many, it's cares that get heavier and heavier.

No matter what it is for each of us - He is patient. He doesn't have a list of exclusions - you know - things He doesn't want to hear about. God doesn't ever say - I don't want to hear another word about it - He longs for us to be to the place where we can back that dump truck up and pour it all out. Even if we can't sort it all out - He can do it for us. He knows what goes where and welcomes our hearts in any shape. He's even glad we come.

Today, as I back this emotion-filled dump truck up to His feet and try to start dumping it out - I will be thankful that he listens. I'll be grateful that He wants it all - and doesn't want me to try to handle it all on my own. I'll try not to sort it all out before giving it to Him. Instead, I'll just hand it all to Him in one motion - and wait for His peace to take its place as I trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

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