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What? No White Horse?

Chris wearing a batman hat

 Early on in my caregiving journey - before I even realized I was on the journey - I kept thinking God was going to ride in on His white horse and rescue me. I recall sitting in the SICU waiting room thinking I would either wake up and it'd be a horrible bad dream. Or that Chris would just wake up and start getting better. I never dreamed I'd be still caring for him 13 years later. There was no way I could have even imagined here - from there. I had no idea what here looked like.

Needless to say, there was no white horse; and there was no dramatic rescue. 

However, what did happen was that time after time, day after day, moment after moment, God kept rescuing my soul from the emotional dungeon that was trying to drag my heart into its pit. He never abandoned me or left me no matter how bad it got or how badly I behaved. (Yes, I did that.) Instead, I found His calming presence always nearby waiting for me to calm down enough to accept and embrace His peace.

God didn't ride in on His white horse - but He also didn't shy away from the storm. If Jesus hadn't walked out to the disciples in the boat in the middle of a storm Peter would have missed the opportunity to walk on water. Jesus didn't calm the storm until after Peter got to demonstrate his faith - even if it was but for a few seconds. Hey, a few steps on the water - is still walking on water!

Joseph named his second son, Ephraim which means fruitful. He said - God has made me fruitful in this land of my suffering. (NLT) And God keeps doing that. He may not always rescue us from suffering or pain - but He is always right there with us. What He does is eternal. Joseph's gifts weren't taken back because he became a slave, he still interpreted dreams.

God's love, peace, mercy, grace, and presence are eternal. They don't wane over time; they remain.

Today, I will remind myself that God is still God even in difficult times. He may not send to rescue us out - but He will give us the opportunity to trust Him enough to walk on water, or save a whole generation like Joseph. We never know what He will do with us or how our story will be told. I'll meditate on His eternal attributes - and I'll think about how He doesn't take things back. He walks into my storm - your storm - with all of who He is - and He remains. I'll rejoice that He is with me today and that He still extends peace, grace, mercy, and love for today. Will you join me?

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31 Days in Psalm 31 devotional book cover


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