Maybe we have all had those moments where we were disappointed with God. I know I have had my times for sure. I always thought He was going to come riding in on His white horse and whisk me out of my stress and pain. When it didn't happen like I imagined, I often thought He'd abandoned me. Sure, He sees. Of course, He hears. But what good is it if He doesn't act?
Mary and Martha were disappointed with Jesus. They told Him that if He had been there, then Lazarus, their brother, would not have died. Jesus' reply was that He was the resurrection and the Life. Then, He demonstrated it by bringing Lazarus back from the dead. I can certainly say I've never seen Him do that! But I still believe it.
The day I realized that I was disappointed in Him, after all, He didn't come when I thought I needed Him most. It can be frustrating to feel like He's not acting on our behalf. Right now, I'm in that spot. It seems like He's not doing anything. Now, I know He's here. He's walking with me. He gives me peace - and that's all something, but it's not the one thing I think I need Him to do, right?
So how are we supposed to walk this thing out when it feels like He's not really with us?
Maybe it starts with two things. One that Mary did and one thing that Martha did. Martha told Jesus, I believe you are the Christ, the Son of God who is come into the world. (John 11:27) She said this at the point of her greatest disappointment, in a time when clarity was gone. She was mourning the loss of her brother - and had hoped Jesus would have healed him, yet she still believed.
The second action was taken by Mary. When they told her that Jesus had come to town - she jumped up and ran to meet Him. In the midst of her disappointment, her grief, her pain - she ran to Him anyway.
When we have disappointment, and of course, it will come, then we must declare that we still believe in Him. Declare we are still trusting Him even in the midst of the mess, the confusion, the pain, and the difficulty. And secondly, we must go meet Him - in that place of disappointment. Even when we can't see - we can look to Him. For when we loosen our grip on our own pain and disappointment, we can get a good grasp of His grace.
Today, I will look past disappointment, pain, mourning, and loss - and I'll focus my heart back on His grace. That's the grace that is going to carry me through today and every day. I'll trust Him with my whole heart, disappointments included. I'll tell Him when I cannot see, when I cannot feel, when I am not sure what to think. Then, I'll let Him carry me, see for me - and especially I'll let Him see me. Will you join me?
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