Do you ever get overwhelmed? Are you ever lonely? Does the social isolation ever get to you? (Who am I talking to? lol) Today is one of those days that it feels like everything is caving in on me. I'm behind at work because of caregiving duties. Chris still isn't up and it's nearly noon. I'm just now getting to write this morning's devotion, and I'm sitting here shaking my head thinking that I'll never catch up today. I'll never get it all done today. But I feel that way almost every day. lol.
Most nights when I start getting ready for bed, I'm certainly at my end. I have learned to focus on all the things I did accomplish during my waking hours, rather than all I failed to get done. And then, for 5 or 6 hours I try to rest. There's just no way to get it all done. I keep thinking I'll get caught up with housework, cooking, work, and all the other things I need to do. Once I get organized it'll be easy sailing. Then I wake up and realize it's probably never going to happen. lol.
As I was praying all of this out this morning, the image of how I watched my son breathe all weekend came to mind. I noticed even the most subtle change in his breath. Maybe he started breathing a little faster, or relaxed as his breathing slowed. Sometimes, when in deep sleep, he'd hold his breath. I was so in tune with each breath, I didn't miss a thing.
This morning, during my mental struggle, I realized God watches over me the same way. Just like I watched and waited for my son to take one more breath, God cheers us on as He watches over our lives. He waits for those moments when we think we cannot breathe. Silently, He cheers from the sidelines of life and eagerly awaits each sign of life, then celebrates it.
Yeah. He celebrates it. We saw that in Zephaniah yesterday. He rejoices over us with gladness and singing. But this morning, I read on in that third chapter. Verse 16 says He will gather those who sorrow. He will deal with what afflicts us. He'll gather those who feel driven out, separated from life, cut off from the rest of the world. I took a little liberty there - but the different translations say it a variety of ways.
I like verse 20. He says I will bring you back. Back to what? - back to Him!
He's leaning over heaven's railing watching us breathe and live this life. But He eagerly awaits the time He can bring us back to Him. In the meantime - He still purposefully brings us to Him. In the midst of our sorrow, pain, struggles, and separation He waits for us to wait on Him. (Isaiah 30:15) Then He brings us to Himself. That's when He gives us His peace, quiets us with His love (Zeph. 3:17), and leans in to feel us breathe one more breath.
Today, I will remind myself that God is watching us at least as intently as we watch our loved ones. He can feel us breathe. He knows when we hold our breath in pain or sorrow. And he provides exactly what we need in the moment to continue trusting Him for one more day.