There's nothing wrong with a facility when it's needed. But I felt like my son would be at an advantage in a home environment. I can think of two people who literally walked away when they found out this was what they felt was a "choice."
Then yesterday, I was FaceTiming with a distant cousin. It was time to tube feed Chris. My cousin asked me to set the phone where he couldn't see that. That doesn't really bother me - because some people are squeamish. I was at first, too, but I soon got over it! lol. While it didn't bother me, it made me think about some stuff. Like how people look away because they don't want to see the painful parts of caregiving.
Sometimes, people want to see us overcome circumstances - but they don't want to witness the struggle it takes. So- they look away. Which, on this end - feels like rejection.
My thoughts soon led me back to the story of Hagar. In Genesis 16, she said, He's the God who sees me. One way it could have been translated is God the Seer. The One who sees - maybe He sees and keeps on looking. When God sees our heartbreaks and triumphs - He keeps on seeing; He never looks away. He never says our life's picture is too complicated, we give Him a headache, or we stress Him out. He sees and keeps on seeing. I'm so glad God doesn't look away.
Psalm 34:15 says The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry.
Today, I'll meditate on how He sees and keeps on seeing me and my son. I'll remind myself that He is so aware of us and so intently tuned in to our every cry, song, shout, and silent tear. Nothing gets by Him. No hurt is too deep for Him to see - or for Him to heal. My thoughts will be on how intent He is on being with us - walking with us - talking with us - seeing and hearing us. I will relax and rest in His ever-abiding presence today as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?
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