Skip to main content

Fast as a Blink

 


I've bragged about it before, but I can go from happy-go-lucky, great attitude to a bundle of emotional tears in less than a second! Sometimes, we talk about caregiving without realizing the emotions that are attached, but they are certainly part of the package. And one we cannot often ignore. They will sneak up on us from time to time. Grief is part of caregiving, whether we are grieving over a parent who is slowly slipping away or a child whose dreams were crushed by tragedy, or dreams that never were in the first place. 

Grief can slowly ooze in and take over, or it can sneak up on you, and BAM! This morning, I stepped outside to tend to my plants. School starts back today for many schools in the area. As soon as I opened the door to step out onto my front patio, I heard the drumline practicing. It hit me so hard since my son was a drummer from the age of 8. Scenes of watching him march and play rolled through my mind as I crumbled into a pile of tears. Will those things ever stop hurting so badly?


Living grief is so real for many of us. I dealt with it with my mom as dementia slowly took her away from us. Her body was here for us to hug and love, but she wasn't who she used to be. It's the same with my son. Thankfully, I have lots of beautiful memories with him. But who he used to be was taken away in the blink of an eye. One missed driving calculation, and 14 years later, he's just learning to walk again. Even though I watched him march with expertise all those years ago. 

By choice, I have taught myself to rejoice in progress, no matter how small. I heard a phrase early on, progress is progress. I live by that because it doesn't matter how little it looks or how slow it feels; progress is indeed progress. I think spiritually, it's the same. If I trust Him a little more today - no matter what - it's still progress. If I run to Him a little faster when emotions hit, it's still progress. If I wipe my tears and declare one more time that my heart will trust in Him. It's still progress.

Today, I will thank Him for walking this journey with me. I'll ask Him to show me ways I trust Him more and areas where I am quicker to turn to Him. I'll also ask Him to show me areas where I've been holding back and trying to make it on my own without Him. (Isn't that silly?) Today, I'll look back over the years and thank Him for carrying me to this point. I'll rejoice in progress made, no matter how small it seems. Because any progress at trusting our big God is still progress. Will you join me?


                                                                                                                                           


If you enjoy these devotionals, I have others! I've expanded my bookstore on Amazon. My devotionals are available in Kindle or print format. The new Bible study guides are now available on Kindle and in print! Check out my growing bookstore: 

I also recently opened my own bookstore. I'm presently filling it up with my books - check out the ones I have available in eBook format. You can download them and read them on your phone! Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ups and Downs

  Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately  call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

Seasons Are Temporary

  This morning, I found myself reading in Isaiah 28. I ended up there because I was looking for something in particular, and even though I didn't find what I was looking for, I found what I needed. God's so cool like that, isn't He? My eyes first fell on verse 29, which says in the NKJ: This also comes from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. I rolled that over in my mind and heart a few times and spent a few minutes thinking about how I'd seen His counsel in action in my own life. We've all had those times when we weren't sure what to do or where to go, and suddenly, an idea drops into our thoughts. There are many ways He provides direction for us. He may direct our steps through a passage of scripture, a trusted spiritual leader such as a pastor, a YouTube teacher, and maybe even a lowly blog writer. Lol. No matter how He chooses to deliver His counsel, it comes - but we must listen. After I had rolled these thoughts and t

Seek and Ye Shall Find

 Over the last few weeks, I've been trying to strategize ways of dealing with stress. It's something we all deal with, especially caregivers. I'm walking and exercising more, which helps the body get rid of stress and it helps improve sleep to some degree. But I've also been working on training my thoughts. I've been working on purposefully finding things to be thankful for. At first, it was a bit difficult because let's face it, caregiving is hard work.  This morning, I was plugging Chris into a nebulizer for a breathing treatment as he had an asthma attack yesterday afternoon after we'd been out for a little bit. As I was doing his treatment and his tube feeding, I didn't even really think about it; this "thought" just rolled up out of me. I thought, thank you, Lord, for carrying us through the long night. My own thankfulness surprised me! Lol. I realized at that moment that it's getting easier and easier to be thankful, even for the litt