Those long nights can take a toll, can't they? For me, I've figured out that when Chris is doing well, I do well. But when he's not - I kinda lose it. I find myself grasping for His grace like a person without air gasps for breath. I can feel so needy, so helpless, and so vulnerable in those times. But I must say that every time God has come through. He has carried me when I thought there was no way to take another step. Why? Because He is faithful. The way things are going does not affect His faithfulness.
This morning, I was thinking about the whiney children of Israel. They complained about everything. It's not that they didn't have things to complain about - it's just that they chose to complain and whine about everything. They said that they wished they could have stayed in Egypt - at least they knew what to expect as slaves, right? Bondage brought with it a set of expected experiences. They knew they'd be mistreated. They knew they'd be overworked and abused. But the wilderness? Who knows what can happen there? Sometimes we become more comfortable with our bondages than progress since we know what to expect. As God leads us out of those bondages, we are in a position of trusting Him, period.
So, this morning, in my devotions, I started thinking of His faithfulness. I thought of the whiney Children of Israel and how He didn't leave them, even though they were ungrateful and cranky. And while I certainly can't say that I've never been cranky or ungrateful, I do rest in the calm assurance that He won't leave me here in my life's wilderness, either. That's a comforting thought.
Yesterday, as Chris started having asthma difficulties, I had a thought that brought me to His continued faithfulness. I thought, my song hasn't changed over all these years - because it's about Him, not me. He stays with us and is faithful during good times and bad. He is faithful in the desert and in the falling rain. He remains faithful during times of joy and times of weeping. He never tells us He "can't handle" us or our situation. He remains.
Today, I will be thankful for God's continued grace, faithfulness, and presence in my life. I'll remind myself that He's never packed up His bags and said He couldn't handle any situation. My meditation will be on His faithfulness and how I can't do anything to make Him be unfaithful. His faithfulness doesn't fluctuate with circumstances - it's just who He is, and He's got me. So, I will trust His faithfulness for one more day - will you join me?
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