You know how raw and real you feel after not sleeping for three nights in a row? Yeah, I know many of you do! I'm sorry we understand one another and relate to some of the tougher issues caregivers face. Here it is, nearly Thanksgiving, and we're supposed to be thankful. But wait - aren't we supposed to be thankful every day? Or has giving thanks become a day on our calendar?
I've been mostly up since 4 this morning, and it's looking like a long day ahead. But as I sat there watching my son's labored breathing, a lot of thoughts started going through my mind. Honestly, I wanted to have a pity party. I wanted to cancel my FaceBook live devotion "Peace Out" - because, for just a minute, I thought peace was missing. That's an easy thing to miss when emotions are raw and real in the moment.
As I was contemplating how this day may roll out, wondering if we'd be headed to the hospital again or not, I pulled a David. In 1 Samuel 30, David was at one of the many low points of his life. He could have wallowed in self-pity and sorrow, but instead, it says David encouraged himself in the Lord. And you know what? Absolutely nothing changed - at first. But maybe David was what changed in the process.
I wondered how he did it. What did David say, think, or do? What real actions did he take when his emotions were raw and real? Sometimes, I wish these types of passages gave us a few more details. But then, we would make some pattern out of it and fail to experience the relationship, right?
Since I didn't know quite where David started, I just started where I was. (That's a novel thought.) I reminded myself of the words God spoke to Paul when he was discouraged. Paul asked three times for God to rescue him out of his distress. But God's answer was My grace is enough. And that's where I started. I reminded myself that God's grace was enough for one more day - today. He didn't unplug it overnight. It didn't run out or expire. No matter what today brings - His grace is still enough for my today.
I began to thank Him for grace enough. I thanked God that He gave us peace and didn't take it back. I still have everything I need for life and godliness through a relationship with Christ. (2 Peter 1:3) And the funniest thing happened. I was okay. I still don't know what this day will bring - how it will turn out. But I do know that God has not left me to walk it alone.
Today, I'll remind myself to be gentle with others while my emotions are raw and real. I will meditate God's patience with me, His grace toward me, and His peace inside me. As I turn my concerns into prayers of thanksgiving, I'll let Him lighten my load today and I'll take His peace instead. Will you join me?
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