Skip to main content

The Abandoned Soul

chris in the recliner looking back at mom

Does it ever feel like everyone has abandoned you? It seems that they adjust to your new caregiving "normal" and then just go on with their lives, and you are not a part of it. Sometimes, not often, I get a little help, but I feel like my son was abandoned. His friends all got to go on with their lives - and they should have, but he's left alone and only dances through their memories from time to time.

These are some of the things running through my mind yesterday as we met with yet another therapist who doesn't see my son as worth their time. I should be used to it by now, right? In those moments, I feel abandoned and weak. As I was driving away, tears filling my eyes, I glanced at him through the rearview mirror. I thought he's still my son. He doesn't look, act, or move like he used to, and I miss that! But he's still in there, and I refuse to give up.

In that moment, it was like I got a sense that God looks at us that way sometimes too. When life leaves us crippled emotionally and drained physically. He looks at us with so much love and compassion and says, she (or he) is still mine. People may walk in and out of our lives, but God continues to tend to our abandoned souls.

I know you understand how complicated emotions, living grief, and crazy thoughts can be! And God sees each and every one, and still chooses to stick around! He knows who we were BC (before caregiving). He really does get us. Those crazy emotions and unbridled thoughts don't scare Him away for even one second. Instead, He gently swoops up each tear before it escapes and treasures it - as if it is a silent plea for help. He quietly and carefully tends to the abandoned soul bringing peace, comfort, direction, grace, and love. 

Today, I will remind myself that He can carry it all for me. I'll roll every concern, no matter how big or how small, over into His lap. I'll let God take care of them for me today; I have a lot to do anyway! :-)
My thoughts will be on how His grace is sufficient for this day - and I will refuse to worry about tomorrow as I trust Him for just one more day - will you join me?



Download your copy of Poems for Caregivers for free! 
Book cover of poems for caregivers

Comments

  1. AnonymousNovember 10, 2022 at 7:43 AM

    Our circumstances may be different (we are dealing with terminal cancer), but the feeling of abandonment is the same. Thanks for your encouraging words today. Blessings to you and your son today. You are never alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jeanie OlingerNovember 10, 2022 at 2:16 PM

      I'm so sorry to hear of your circumstances. Thankfully, God is faithful and no situations are off-limits to His grace. Thank you for your kind words. And thanks for reading! Prayers and gentle cyber hugs to you.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Caregiver Burnout is Real

  Do you ever just get too tired? Do you ever want to quit? Do you ever sit down for a whole 30 seconds and think about not getting back up? Ever? Who am I kidding? Sometimes I forget who I'm talking to. Lol. As caregivers, burnout is real. But the problem for most of us, is we don't get a break even in the midst of burnout, right? Let's face it. If we had a bit more help we might  avoid burnout - but once we feel that we are in a season of burnout and stressed out - there's still no help. It's easy to feel stuck. I try to do a few things to avoid burnout and to cope. Someone told me one time that I had learned how to live even in the midst of the situation. I think she was right. I have learned to slow down and enjoy an afternoon cup of tea (or coffee!!!). I try to get outside as much as possible because sunshine and fresh air are essential to a healthy life. Some days that means sitting on the patio so I can see Chris in the recliner through the window. But I'
2 comments
Read more

Part of the Crowd

 I took Chris to our local minor league baseball team's game yesterday. I must say I give the ballpark an A+ on accessibility. The parking guys pointed me to a handicap spot right near the gate. And from there, I just rolled him in and found our accessible seating - which just means a chair beside an empty spot for the wheelchair to fit in! It was great. He could see fine and even though it was a bit loud at times - it wasn't too loud for him. What joy fills my heart when I find things to do that are positive. As we sat and watched the game, we became part of the crowd. We were all watching the game and cheering on the home team. We had one purpose - besides being entertained, and that was to support the local team. We all cheered when our guys made a play. We hooped and hollered when one of them stole a base or hit a home run. It was so amazing to be part of something bigger than us - to be part of the community.   It made me think about the crowds who followed Jesus and the w
Post a Comment
Read more

Ups and Downs

  Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately  call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i
Post a Comment
Read more