Spent With Grief

 

Me talking to chris after our first race

This morning, my emotions were all over the place. Who even knows why right? It just happens sometimes. Maybe it was a memory that sparked sadness or the crazy, rough dreams I had early this morning. (No, I didn't have pizza last night! Lol.) I chose to spend my morning devotions in a very familiar place - Psalm 31. It's been a long-time favorite psalm of mine, and it's loaded with good stuff to meditate on all day.

I read through the entire psalm before really landing anywhere. But I had a hard time just skipping by verses 9 and 10. David describes his eyes wasting away with grief in verse 9. Then, in verse 10, the psalmist says my life is spent with grief and my years with sighing. (NKJV) Boy, did I feel it this morning. Grief may come in waves, or it may set up camp - but it comes. I think caregivers deal with different types of grief. Those who are caring for parents miss the person their parent was and deal with the emotions of a huge role reversal. Those of us caring for children grieve for the person they were too. Parents caring for children with disabilities grieve over what could have been. 

David goes on to use some terms common to caregivers. He talks about being a reproach, forgotten, fearful, and alone. (I relate to all of those, do you relate to any of these emotions and feelings?) But here's what I love about David, he wraps up the midsection of this psalm with a faith confession. But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord, I say "You are my God." (v.14 NKJV) I love that David is so open and honest with his emotions and feelings because, in many circles today, it's not acceptable.

We can wrap up every crazy thought and release every wild emotion in prayer to the God Who hears us. As a matter of fact, He's aware of all of it, even if we don't share it with Him. So, He patiently waits for us to bring it to Him and trust Him with our care. That's not too different than our loved ones trusting us with their care (even if they don't know they are doing that!). 

Today, I will package up all my emotions and give them to God. I'll trust Him to care for me today. I will trust God to bandage up my wounded soul (mind, will, emotions) and anoint me with the salve of His Holy Spirit so I am whole in Him. I'll let Him carry my concerns today - and I'll let Him carry me too! Will you join me?

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Get your copy of  my devotional: "31 Days in Psalm 31."

eBooks are available on my bookstore website: Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore

Kindle and print versions are available on my Amazon bookshelf. 

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