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Just Dust

me helping chris stand

  I went in my son's room this morning to turn some music on for him. As I looked at his shriveled hands, withdrawn arms, and motionless legs, I thought about how much I love him even in his "broken" state. My life revolves around him, quite literally. My thoughts quickly moved to God and His love for us - even in our "broken" states. Maybe our lives are far less than what the norm would call "perfect." But God loves us - right where we are and just how we are. I picture my crippled soul continuing to look for and seek Him. And in my imagination - I see His heart well pleased.

Psalm 103:13-14 says, The Lord is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For He understands how weak we are; He knows we are only dust. (NLT) Today, I'm just overwhelmed by His tender mercies. He sees my brokenness, my pain, and the tears I hide from everyone else. He sees the tears I refuse to let go of, and He just can't help Himself. He loves us and has tender mercy for us.I have trouble imagining that God becomes overwhelmed with emotions toward me - like I do toward my son. But He does. 

Without the breath that God breathed into Adam - we're just a pile of dirt. But He still comes for us, loves us, comforts us, and keeps our souls. That's somewhat amazing and overwhelming to grasp. But I like it. :-)

Caregiving is not easy. Ever. It can be painful, frustrating, and nearly debilitating. But God isn't afraid to get "dirt-y." I see my life as such a mess, and I make it even messier sometimes. (LOL) But He won't wash His hands of it all  - He's always ready and willing to intervene for my soul's sake. Just like I love my son just like he is - God loves us just like we are, right where we are. He won't avoid us, shun us, or hide from our pain. This song just came on my son's tv "I love you just the way you are." So appropriate for this moment I am having. I love my son just the way he is - and God loves us just the way we are. We don't have to do anything - God can't help Himself, He loves us.

Today, I will rest in His love. When I question how God could possibly love me - I'll look at my son and realize that God feels those same emotions for me. I'll remind myself that He is totally overcome with compassion, grace, mercy, and love for me. So, I can rest in Him and trust Him for one more day (even if He needs to carry me). Will you join me?


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