Before and Behind
The last few weeks, I've been working on my morning routine. It's funny how as a caregiver, routine is everything and nothing all at the same time. Having a routine is usually a good thing for our loved ones - depending on the nature of the care they need. But inside that routine, we have to allow for flexibility. So, I took the early morning hours to do some changeups. That's when I get my devotions in, and I try to get my walk in too. That way, those days that get super busy super fast don't make me shuffle the things important to my own mental, physical, and spiritual health.
In the shift, I've found that some things are going much smoother. Other things, not so much. Lol. So, I'm ahead - but I'm still behind at the same time. Man, that doesn't seem fair, does it? But alas, it's the caregiver's life! How in the world I can feel accomplished and defeated at the same time is beyond reason. Yet, that's right where I find myself day after day. The good news is that God has me covered whether I am way ahead or lagging behind.
In Psalm 139:5, the KJV says, thou hast beset me behind and before and laid thine hand upon me. Other translations say it differently. The NLT says, You go before me and follow me. No matter what translation we use, it's pretty clear that God is walking ahead of us and behind us. It reminds me of when we used to go hiking as a family. My husband at the time would walk out front, the kids were between us, and I followed up behind. We kept them between us so we could always be aware of where they were on the path. It ensured they wouldn't wander off or get lost. Since God has us enclosed behind and before - He is ensuring we don't wander off the path and get lost.
You know, as a caregiver, there are lots of things to get "lost" in. Our emotions can be all over the place. I can go from super highs to extreme lows in half a second. Sometimes less. Thoughts are another area where we can wander off easily. These areas present constant struggles for me. I can rest easy though, knowing that God has walked this day before me. He's prepared the path for me and covered it with His grace and mercy. He's also following behind me. I picture Him smoothing over everything I messed up as I came barrelling through the day. Lol. Either way - He's got me covered.
Today, I'll remind myself that God is before and behind me. He's in this moment with me right now, and that's where He'll stay, even though He's preparing the pathway before me and cleaning it up behind me. I can trust that He's got me covered thoroughly today. So, I can just rest in the truth that He's got it all taken care of. I'll remind myself to wait for Him and listen for Him in my today. Will you join me?
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