As caregivers, much of our day goes unseen. We may often get invites for various activities without anyone realizing what all it takes to get us there. For many of us, it's not as easy as just jumping in the car and heading out. Behind the scenes, there is a lot of planning that goes into the shortest, simplest trips, even to the grocery store. Over time, we can get our processes down so that it becomes a little easier - but others have no idea what all goes into it.
The other day, I was trying to get home in time to tutor a student. They had already arrived by the time I got to my apartment. I felt so vulnerable as I unloaded my son from the van and took him inside. Like they were getting a minute view into my caregiving side. I felt so - uncovered. It was almost as uncomfortable as feeling naked in public. LOL - not quite, though. (blush)
So, it took a lot for me to start making a few reels around my caregiving tasks. It turns out that people respond well to it. I've not gotten any negative or derogatory remarks so far, at least. But it's really difficult to let people see some of the things I like to keep hidden as a caregiver. Of course, there are some things that will always be hidden, lol. Those unmentionables!! But it has turned out that it's kind of freeing to give people a window into the daily life of caregiving. (Now, if I could just get them to send stars, Lol!)
As I've worked through my own inhibitions, I realized that God gets a bird's eye view of every little detail. Nothing escapes His notice. He sees every move I make, every transfer, every meal prepped, every load of laundry, and every unmentionable. God is aware of my emotional roller coaster - nothing is missed. He knows when I am excited about new ideas, study guides, or videos. He also knows the nights I cry myself to sleep. He sees the unseen. God even sees all those emotions, tears, and feelings that no one could ever see. He gets me. He gets you. He gets us. And He sticks around anyway!
Isn't that the greatest fear for some of us? That if people really see our day, they will reject us? If they see us up to our elbows in all sorts of stuff, they may leave. Many have left already. So, we hide and try to act like our normal is normal. But we know it's not. And so does God.
Today, I will let Him see. (It's not really like I can keep Him from it anyway! Lol.) I'll open up my heart and pull back the curtains and know that He is looking at all of me. And I'll let it be "okay." I'll let Him touch that part of me that no one ever sees and some don't want to. Because as He sees - He heals. I'll just trust Him for today as I know He is watching over my whole being from the inside out. Will you join me?
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