Do you ever feel broken? Sometimes I look around at all the other "normal" people who are not caregivers, and feel like my life is so broken. As caregivers, we can't always do all the "normal" things like plan and take vacations, take a job in another city, or even hop in the car and run to the store to grab butter. When I scroll through facebook and I see all the things all the "cool" people get to do, it can start dragging my emotions down into the pit. But feeling broken is not the end.
Let me quickly distinguish the difference between broken and brokeness. Brokeness is a state we become before God. It's the realization of our desparate need for Him - whether we are broken or not. They are the first group Jesus mentioned in His first ever sermon on earth. In the sermon on the mount, He starts with Blessed are the poor in spirit (broken), for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (NKJV) The NLT translates it this way - God blesses those who realize their need for Him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them. Brokeness is a realization that I need God in my life, caregiver or not!
Broken is quite different. We often think that if something breaks, it's not worthwhile anymore. This is not always true. I've broken several bones in my body, not all at the same time thankfully, and they just take some time to heal. They are not broken forever. That'll preach.
Somethings still work, even though they are broken into pieces. A broken crayon still colors beautifully, even if it means just using a little piece of it. A broken mirror - still reflects light. And a broken clock - is still right twice a day! Lol. Just because we may feel broken, doesn't mean we are beyond "repair." As a matter of truth - God move near to the broken hearted. (Psalm 34:18) He does not say that we are too broken for Him to be near us. People may avoid us because of our broken state - but God will not. As a matter of fact, He does not see us as broken at all.
We may percieve our lives to be broken - but not one thing in the kingdom of God (which is in us) is broken, weakened, or lost. We are still whole in Him. Our salvation is still in tact. When we look past the natural and into the spiritual, we'll realize nothing is broken in us, because God still makes His home in us.
Today, I will shift my focus from the things and ways I feel my life is broken. Instead, I'll meditate on the Kingdom of God that is still whole and still inside this weary body. I will choose to see myself whole in Christ and I'll remind myself that He is still the anchor of my soul, He holds me, He rescues me, and nothing is lost after all. I'll think about how the journey has strengthened my faith, solidified my resolve to serve Him, and deepened my love for God as I've come to know Him even more. I will trust that He's got me today - so I will rest in Him. Will you join me?