Most mornings, right after I get my son up, I put on some sort of teaching. I try to find a YouTube video that is about an hour or shorter for him to watch. Well, I figure his spirit man needs to be fed - it didn't get damaged in the wreck. Our soul is always protected and hidden in God. So, I put on some teachers I know he liked or that were familiar to him. Our favorites are Duane Sherriff, Loui Giglio, Francis Chan, and Steven Futrick. I kind of randomly rotate through these teachers, so he gets some different "flavors."
Yesterday, I heard whoever we were listening to say that Job prayed before his troubles, during trouble, and after his troubles were over. So, that sparked me to read in Job during my personal devotions this morning.
In Chapter 6, Job is in the thick of the battle. His friends have joined him, and in their grief, they have sat with him for 7 days without being able to say a word. They probably should have remained silent because their words began to cut through Job's soul like flaming arrows. They accused him of not trusting God, committing some horrible sin, or doing something that displeased God. They suggested that Job was being punished and all he needed to do was to repent, and God would lift his struggles and pain all away. Sound familiar?
As a caregiver, I've heard all the religious answers. I've been told to fast, march around the walls of brain injury, roar like a lion (yes, for real), and all sorts of other things to make my son better. I've wrestled with thoughts that maybe I did mess up somewhere along the way. But even if I did, doesn't God have grace for that?
In the sixth chapter, Job is beginning to pour out his soul. He says some things that I can relate to as I deal with the deep blows and wounds trauma leaves behind. He says these types of things in the NLT:
- My sadness weighs more than the sands of the sea (v.3)
- I wish God would crush me (and make all this end) (v.9)
- I wish God would just kill me (v. 9)
- I do not have the strength to endure (v. 11)
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If you think about it, God is the only constant in our lives. His mercies are new every morning - for our sakes, not His. His grace covers us no matter how the ebbs and flows of life roll. His love is unending, undeterred, and forever - it did not change or become confused when we became caregivers. His word still stands, and we can hold on to it for survival and spiritual sustenance. And that's what I intend to do today! Will you join me?