Skip to main content

Me Myself and I

chris at bluff creek

 Do you ever feel so scattered that me, myself, and I feel like three distinct people? (Who am I talking to here!) For caregivers, distractions are free - forget a dime a dozen - and they come at us all day long from so many different directions that sometimes it's unreal. It can seem like the simplest things tear us apart emotionally sometimes. We have to give ourselves a break and lots of grace because we run on overload and overwhelm. 

It often feels like I'm being ripped apart from the inside out. "I" feels one thing. Maybe it's anger, frustration, or overwhelm. "Me" feels something totally different. Maybe there are a few joys in Chris' progress sprinkled with a few laughs or coffee with a friend. And in the meantime, I'm trying to get "myself" together so I can get all of me on one page. It's the only way to get things done, right?

It never fails, though. Part of me gets all focused on a task, whether that is work or caregiving-related. Then, another part of me gets distracted. For instance, I changed my morning schedule today because the nurse was coming at 8:15. I do my Facebook Live at 8, so I rearranged everything to accommodate and prevent an interruption to the broadcast. As I was making "myself" some breakfast - I chose something totally different and fast, so I would not be tied up when the nurse arrived. Literally, at 8:15, she called and rescheduled because she had a meeting at work she'd forgotten about. 

That's not a problem - it happens to everyone, caregivers and those who are not. But it always takes me a few minutes, hours, or longer to shift into another gear. Maybe it's the weird way I'm wired. But I hadn't tube-fed Chris yet since she was going to change out his tube. It just gets me all off center, and I'm working on ways to get me, myself, and I back into the same lane faster and easier.

My habit is to look at scripture and ask God for help. And I found it this morning in Nehemiah. He was being fought on every side. His enemies wanted to intimidate and confuse him. Why? Because if Nehemiah became confused or intimidated, he couldn't finish the work. I'll be the first one to admit that caregiving can be intimidating. This month, it's been 13 years since I brought my son home. I was terrified. Scared. Intimidated by the unknown and unfamiliar. But I kept my focus on helping my son.

Life throws good things and bad things at us so fast it's easy to become intimidated or confused. Each time the insults were hurled at Nehemiah, though, he adjusted, adapted, and advanced. It's the only way to keep me, myself, and I all moving in one direction in unison.

Today, Me, Myself, and I - will trust God. That's "our" declaration. No matter what things look like or how things shift and change, I will keep moving toward Him. I'll keep my focus on God and how He gives me the strength I need for today. I know my Helper will help me stay focused and productive today. My Comforter will make sure I am not overcome by all the craziness around me. Today, I'll lean in to Him and rely on Him to keep me whole and on track - especially when I feel like I can't do it myself. Will you join me?


Would You Like to Help Dove's Fire Ministries?

Maybe you've wondered about helping support all that goes on at DFM. One way is to shop my personal bookstore, which has devotionals, Bible study guides, and more that I have written. Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

You can also donate via PayPal at 
Or you can donate via CashApp: $JeanieOlinger
Or if you have Venmo my ID is:@Mary-Olinger-6


Popular posts from this blog

Ups and Downs

  Maybe it's just "that time of year" for me, but I've struggled a lot the last few weeks. I still affectionately  call it the caregiver's fog. Lol. Okay, maybe it's not-so-affectionately. I know I can share my true feelings with you guys because you get it. You understand the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The military has a saying about there being no easy day. I think we live in that reality. It's just not easy caring for another whole person, is it? Caregiving presents many difficulties. We can find ourselves alone, so very alone on this journey. It doesn't just go away. We don't just work through it. It seems to go on and on. There are lots of ups and downs - and that can be about every 90 seconds some days. Right? (smile!) As I've been working through this emotional maze the last few days, I turned my thoughts to Daniel. Let's take a realistic look at his circumstances because as we read his story in the Bible, we tend to glamorize i

The Practical Side of Caregiving

 This week, I've been reading the book of Acts. I am enjoying the journey of the early church. Can you imagine what it would be like if your church saw 5000 people saved in a day? Mass chaos would ensue as leadership tried to figure out how to serve that many people! It'd be great and difficult at the same time - kind of like caregiving. Lol. But yesterday, I got stuck in Acts 9 thinking about a practical caregiving issue. In verse 32, we read that Peter was traveling around and encouraging all the new believers. He came to the town of Lydda. Verse 33 says in the NLT, There he (Peter) met a man named Aeneas, who had been paralyzed and bedridden for eight years. Now, the next verses talk about how Peter proclaimed healing, and the man just got up! That's so amazing. But my brain got stuck on some of the practical parts. Aeneas was paralyzed and bedridden. My mind compared the situation to my son, of course, even though he's not "paralyzed." I started wondering

Seasons Are Temporary

  This morning, I found myself reading in Isaiah 28. I ended up there because I was looking for something in particular, and even though I didn't find what I was looking for, I found what I needed. God's so cool like that, isn't He? My eyes first fell on verse 29, which says in the NKJ: This also comes from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. I rolled that over in my mind and heart a few times and spent a few minutes thinking about how I'd seen His counsel in action in my own life. We've all had those times when we weren't sure what to do or where to go, and suddenly, an idea drops into our thoughts. There are many ways He provides direction for us. He may direct our steps through a passage of scripture, a trusted spiritual leader such as a pastor, a YouTube teacher, and maybe even a lowly blog writer. Lol. No matter how He chooses to deliver His counsel, it comes - but we must listen. After I had rolled these thoughts and t