This morning, during my personal devotions, I was looking something up when my eye briefly saw a phrase from 2 Timothy. It's indented, so it sort of stood out on the page, but my eyes rolled over If we are faithless, He remains faithful. I don't know about you - but I know about me, and sometimes I feel like I'm lifeless and faithless. The crucible of life seems to press our souls out of us sometimes. Maybe it's the day-after-day strain of caring for our loved ones. Weariness doesn't creep in - it's taken up residence. Lol.
So, when this scripture skipped across my attention, it made me start thinking. I know I have faith. I know you have faith. We are still seeking Him, after all. So there must be a glimmer of faith that keeps us running toward the cross. But sometimes, I feel totally wasted and faithless. This scripture helps remind me that when I feel like my faith bucket is empty, His bucket is still full. When I feel the weakest, He is still the strongest. And the best part - is He is so willing to share!
The old-school religious systems I grew up under indirectly taught me that if bad things happened, it was because I had no faith. They wanted me to believe that bad things could be confessed away if you had faith. So I found myself condemning and judging myself when my son had his wreck. I thought I had no faith at all. But that was one of the first things being his caregiver taught me. Faith doesn't prevent bad things from happening - it is what sustains us through them.
I find great comfort in knowing that God's got enough faith for both of us. In those moments when I feel weak and faith-less, I can turn to a God who is consistently faith-full. He will not leave me. He will not look the other way. Somehow when I remind myself of all He is - it helps me gain the strength to continue trusting Him. Yet, while I find myself wavering back and forth, sorting through emotions, and trying to figure it all out on my own - He remains constant, present, attentive to my deepest silent cries for help, and faithful to answer even the ones I don't know enough about to voice in prayer.
Today, I will remind myself of what a faithful God He is. I'll take a few minutes to look back on how He has sustained my soul through the rocky and emotional caregiving journey. My meditation will be on His consistent presence and determined diligence to walk through time with me. I'll be grateful for His presence and soul-sustaining peace as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?
I closed my bookstore to save the expense - but I'm in the process of moving the books all over to my Amazon bookshelf. I added a few Kindle books last night, with more to come. Check out my Amazon bookstore.
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