As caregivers, we have to be ready to change in a second. We may get a call that our loved one has fallen or needs something specific. Hopefully, there are not a lot of those in the middle of the night, but they do happen. Some of us may be awakened in the night by a new, troubling cough, a high fever, or sundry other things that can happen. For many of us, every day is slightly different than all the rest. The only thing that is consistent - is change.
This morning, as I was thought-working on some changes I've got to make moving forward, I got a bit frustrated. Then I realized that the changes I'm needing to make are because of some slight improvements my son has been making. Instead of being down about it all, I cheered myself up. Even though change is hard, it is often good.
Then, I began to think about the things that have not, will not, and cannot change. During the most troubling of caregiving days, I've been able to rely on God's faithfulness. I've learned that I can trust Him to carry me even if I cannot express the need. I've found Him to be always "here," no matter what that looks like or where it is literally. And I've discovered that He is always on, ready to comfort, carry, speak peace to my soul, or just listen when I've gone into overload mode. And above all that - this constant, faithful God - wants to be here with me, with us.
As I embrace change yet again, I find myself leaning into hear His gentle voice. I know that He will catch any tear that falls while understanding every driving emotion that helped it form before it escaped my eyes. Yeah, He's that close. And that will remain unchanged too. Even when I throw a fit and scream and holler, whine, and fuss - He stays in my here until I can hear Him again speak peace to my soul.
Today, I'll remind myself that God is in my here by choice, and He's not going anywhere. He will carry me through today like He's done these 5,396 days of my caregiving journey. My thoughts of gratitude will be on how He hasn't quit when I got difficult but patiently waits for me to listen for His breath once again. The unchanged and unchanging God will continue to hold my hand and hold me on this journey, so I'll trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?