Canceled Again
Do you ever feel like you are missing out on life's best? This was my feeling over the weekend. I had planned on pushing my son in a local 5K on Sunday. It's a free one, and we've done it for several years. It's a nice outdoor activity and a very social, healthy atmosphere. Because he'd experienced asthma-related issues Friday and Saturday, I chose to cancel our fun outing. He may have been fine, but I didn't want to take a chance at him not being okay on Monday when he goes to the 34 Project for his active fitness sessions. It's more important, so I canceled. Again.
It can seem like we make a lot of plans only to cancel them over and over. It is frustrating for us as caregivers and easy for us to feel like we are missing out. Also, others don't always understand our dilemma, so they often just stop inviting us. It can be easy to settle into those raw emotions and difficult to harness our thoughts. Canceled again. And again. And again. It can become a vicious emotional circus for us.
My son might have been fine on Monday even if we'd done the race on Sunday. But it wasn't worth the chance. It's tempting to just stop making plans at all, isn't it? That helps alleviate our disappointment to a degree. But I say it's still better to plan even with the possibility of canceling looming over our heads. Some plans go through! And those are usually very much worth the effort.
So, with canceling being on my mind this morning and looking at a few events coming up that I will pencil into my calendar, I took time to reflect on the emotions that tend to circle cancelations. A lot comes to mind:
- disappointment
- social isolation
- fear of being alone forever
- fear of making more plans that will just get canceled
- loneliness
- God's grace
- God's love
- God's mercy
- God's eye, which is always on me
- God's compassion
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