Talking to Myself

Aunt Polly talking to chris - both of them in wheelchairs

 Do you ever catch yourself talking to yourself? I suppose we all do it to some degree. Since my son is nonverbal, I talk to him a LOT, constantly. I'm sure when he starts talking, the first thing he'll say is something about me shutting up. Lol. As I've grown accustomed to being the only voice in my apartment, I have caught myself talking to myself more often. Sometimes, I mutter something about my lack of intelligence under my breath. I may hear myself say, well, that was dumb. Oftentimes, I find that I tell myself how silly I am or how I did something wrong or offer myself some other negative input.

Not long ago, I decided to try to put an end to negative self-talk. I got a fresh notebook and began to write affirmations. So far, I've got about 21 affirmations for caregivers. I hope to turn it into an ebook and make it available in my bookstore soon. 

This morning, I heard myself again, so I decided to change the dialogue. As caregivers, we need to be our own best friends, not enemies. Too many of us walk a lonely path. It's too easy to fall into self-condemnation because, many times, there's no one there to lift us up. That's where the Word comes in!

Thankfully, I stopped myself from bludgeoning my soul with negative words this morning. I decided that if I'm going to talk to myself (LOL), it's going to be good. So, I pulled out my small collection of affirmations and began reminding myself that there are some things caregiving doesn't have the power to change. 

  • I'm still a child of God.
  • God continues to extend His peace to me.
  • The power of the cross did not expire when I became a caregiver.
  • God's grace is still sufficient for these circumstances.
  • I am a champion, and I've championed every day of my life to be here today.
  • God still protects my heart, and He remains the keeper of my soul.
If I am going to continue talking to myself  - it's got to be good! David encouraged himself in the Lord at one of the lowest points of his life. (1 Samuel 30:6-8) The KJV says that David was "greatly distressed" in that moment. But he turned the dialogue around and found a way to encourage himself when he had every right to be discouraged.

Today, I will protect my heart from negative self-talk. When negative thoughts or emotions begin to surface, I'll remind myself of who I am in Him, and how caregiving doesn't change our spiritual inheritance. My thoughts will be on how He continues to carry me, protect me, provide for me, and more. Isn't that how we make it through these difficult days? I will declare that I will continue to trust Him because He continues to care for me. So, I will trust Him with one more day. Will you join me?

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