I discovered Psalm 77 early on in the caregiving journey. It was one of those times when I was feeling overwhelmed, and it seemed God had abandoned me. I couldn't feel Him or see Him working. Depression and despair were closing in on me. Becoming a caregiver was a choice - but all the things I had felt like God had promised me seemed to have fallen by the wayside. My heart was shattered into so many pieces by so many different things.
Then, one morning, I opened my Complete Jewish Bible to Psalm 77 and discovered others (Asaph) were working through similar emotions. He couldn't see, feel, or find God either. It was oddly comforting to realize that not only did someone else experience those feelings and emotions - but God let them be put in the Bible! :-)
Verses 10-11 rang true in my soul as I shifted from what I couldn't see right then and there to what I had seen God do in the past. That single action of shifting my gaze from the surrounding, suffocating circumstances to who I knew God to be - changed everything down to the way I breathed. But as I found myself in this psalm again last night, a different verse stuck out to me.
Verses 15 to 20 talk about the great Exodus from Egypt and all God's wonderful deeds and miracles that He performed to make the journey happen. The psalmist, Asaph, goes on to describe the crossing of the Red Sea. He says, Your road led through the sea, Your pathway through the mighty waters, a pathway no one knew was there. (NLT, 1996) When God laid the foundations of the seas and carved the land for water to flow and nourish the earth, He carved the pathway for the Children of Israel to pass through. And no one knew it was there.
As Moses and the Israelites became pressed up to the banks of the Red Sea, they couldn't see the pathway God had already prepared. They were certainly scared, and it would have been natural to question whether they heard God or not, whether God was with them or not, whether God was going to fulfill His promise or not. But the pathway had been carved and laid out by God's divine plan before He ever said, "Let there be light!"
Maybe during those times when we can't see God working - it's because He has already completed the plan. We just can't see it yet. Maybe those seasons of silence are just leading us to the banks of the next miracle or breakthrough. Our goal then is to remind ourselves of all the ways God has covered us before we hit that brick wall. Shifting our gaze to all we know Him to be - helps us navigate the current situation with our faith solidified.
Today, I will take some time to reflect on my caregiving journey and the times I know it was God who carved out a path for my emotions, provision, direction, and more. I'll think about how much He's willingly carried me over the years without complaining while listening to me whine and complain. I'll gather strength to face one more day because I know that He is more than in it - He's already been here and carved out a way for me - a way no one knew about. I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?