Any given day can have hiccups. As caregivers, we have to learn to go with the flow, as the old saying goes. We never know what a day will bring. There are days like today when it's the seemingly smallest things that upset my apple cart. (another old saying!) I woke up behind, and I'm struggling to find some sense of order in my morning.
I'm a bit behind on a project, so I started out feeling like I am way behind schedule. That's when the juggling starts. I think, do I work on this project, or do I read my Bible? It worked out so that I could do both! But the project isn't complete. :-)
Then my son wakes up, and I decide to bolus him just a bit early; maybe I can get ahead, right?
Nope. Something I added to his tube feeding made it extremely thick, and before you know it, I'm cleaning up a mess. Smh. Just add water, Jeanie, just add water. His CBD tube was empty, so I had to get a new one that was wrapped so it could survive the apocalypse. (They really need to work on their packaging!) Then, it wouldn't go into the tube. Trust me, it was a BIG mess. Just a few hiccups, right?
But I can live on the edge of emotional craziness. It doesn't take a lot to send me off the edge. Honestly, fighting depression is an ongoing battle for me, and when things go smoothly and my son makes progress, it's a bit easier to stay off the cliff. But when things, even little things, start interrupting the flow of my day, it makes it a lot harder to maintain my thoughts and emotions and keep them in a good place. I know that negative self-talk has no place in a believer's life. But it does still happen. But you know what? God knows. And, He still wants to spend this day with me. Helping me. Encouraging me. Strengthening me. Carrying me as needed. Doesn't that just blow your mind?
The fact that God sees our days knows the struggles we face each day, and knows how difficult it is, especially if there are hiccups, and yet still wants to be with us - just makes my heart smile. After all, most of us have seen the mass exodus of those we thought were our closest friends. Many of us have had to give up on public outings, including church, due to our crazy circumstances. Yet God remains, even in the hiccups.
Today, I'll remind myself once again that God is right here. He ain't going anywhere no matter how difficult the day is or how ugly I act out. :-) Somehow, I know I'll look back at this day when it's done and see how He ironed out all those hiccups and chose to be with me in the process. My meditations will be on His love, His mercy, and His grace, that is enough for today. So I will trust Him with one more day. Will you join me?
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