I have to say that I have not experienced "unwavering faith." Actually, it was quite the opposite in the face of trauma. When my son was injured in the wreck, I had a lot of questions. Some days, now 15 years later, I still do. Caregiving can be a life-changer, making us question our faith and sometimes everything we believe about God. I confess I have wavered in my faith - or what I had called faith. Maybe you have felt that way, too. But aren't we all still chasing God? Isn't that the root of faith?
It took a few years, but I came to realize that I hadn't lost faith. It had just been redefined. I'm okay with that. I always thought having faith would keep bad things from happening. I am not sure why since we don't find that anywhere in the Bible. I was even quick to condemn myself because life took a bad, rough, wrong, or some other kind of turn on my watch. Then, I learned that avoiding hardships didn't have anything to do with faith. Enduring hardships, troubles, and struggles and holding on to God through them is faith.
Stuff like this was running through my mind this morning after my Bible study time. I was in Genesis 17, where God was telling Abraham that Sarah was going to have a baby. Abraham is 99 years old. Say what? Sarah was 90 years old. When God started breaking down the news to Abraham, he had a good explanation and a "better" plan. Abraham reminded God of his age and suggested that He just bring the promise through Ishmael - because that was something tangible - and faith is not.
In verse 17 of Genesis 17, it says that Abraham "fell on his face and laughed." Get this picture. God is giving Abraham a promise, and Abraham doesn't just chuckle - he's not just amused. He falls to the ground in roaring laughter at the promise of God. But in verse 19, God said, "No." He then reiterates the promise that Sarah would bear Abraham a son, even in their old age.
In Romans 4:20, Paul says that Abraham did not waver at the promise of God. How is that? He laughed... but he still believed God. What a dichotomy. So - we are counted as having faith even when we really don't understand what in the world God is doing to us or through us. Trusting that He will bring about His good in every situation - no matter how dire it seems - is faith. God knows how to make up that long distance between our heads and our hearts. He knows we are trusting Him when we don't get it ourselves!
Today, I'll remind myself that faith is trusting God, and I am still doing that. Let's give ourselves a little credit here - we are still pursuing God's heart, and He is still pursuing ours. What looks like laughter, may actually be unwavering faith. (shrug) I'll remind myself that just because I ask questions and give God some really good suggestions - it won't negate faith. God gets me. He gets us. He knows. So, I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?
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