One of the biggest life-changing realizations that I have learned on this caregiving journey is that God is unchanged. He didn't throw in the towel when Chris had the wreck. He didn't explain that He no longer knew what was going on and so He'd be stepping down and relinquishing the throne. He stayed God. And more than that - He didn't change one iota. This world would be in a huge mess if God changed in response to my thoughts and emotions. It would be more than a crazy place! lol.
Early on, while we were in the hospital for those initial four months, it dawned on me that God was unchanged. And even though it felt like my heart, hope, faith, and all light and life had been ripped out of my soul - He was still the same. It did take me some time to redefine my faith - and it took me even longer to find a way to trust God again, but He patiently waited until I calmed down and brought it all back to Him. That's when I realized He'd been the one who wiped the tears from my soul and cradled the many pieces of my heart, and nourished it back to health.
He never left me, even when I was screaming and kicking and yelling about how He'd abandoned my son. He'd failed to protect us and keep all of life's bad stuff away. What arrogance. It was a great day when I realized I still needed Him. I still needed Him to carry me, shield me, keep my soul, and just be near. He was so willing, even after all my rants. I love Him for that.
We can continue to praise God, even when things don't go our way. As a matter of fact, when we praise Him in the middle of the battle, in the darkest part of the night, while standing in a pool of our own blood, sweat, and tears - it is there we learn to trust Him most. It is during the dark night of our souls that we learn who He really is. That's when He is unchained in our hearts and lives. Right there in that deepest, darkest cave is where we see how the Creator still works with nothing to make something of our lives.
Today, I will turn my emotions, thoughts, crazy thoughts, and meditations into prayers. I'll start by thanking Him for staying with me on this journey. I will praise Him for carrying me along the way on the rocky cliffside of caregiving. My thoughts will be on how He may not rescue me from the cliff - but He'll never let me fall into destruction. I'll remind myself that He still has me. He still has us. He still has the whole world in His hands, and I'll unchain His work in my life by reminding myself that I can trust Him - the one who is unchanged by circumstances. Will you join me?
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Affirmations for Caregivers contains an affirmation, a verse or two to read, and a prompt for a very short response for each day for a month or 31 days. You can download the eBook from the Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore right now and print it and and start today! The print version is also now available on Amazon! Check it out!
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