The Fight For Sanity

 Caregiving has a way of wearing on you. It's sometimes physical, but a lot of times it's the emotional side that gets to us. When I realized that I was dealing with what is called, "living grief" I allowed myself to grieve. We can lose a lot when we become caregivers, including who our loved ones were and our lifestyles. I had to come to grips with the fact that I lost my son in that wreck in November of 2008. Yet he didn't die. He's still here, but the son I knew is long gone. No matter how our caregiving is packaged - there's a lot to deal with.

This morning as I was reading 1 Chronicles 11 I came across the story of Benaiah again. There are literally three verses about him in the entire Bible. He was one of David's Mighty Men and a great warrior. In verse 22, it says that Benaiah chased a lion into a pit. Why would anyone do that to start with? But then it says that even though it was snowy and slippery in the pit - he killed the lion. Smh. 

Let me be clear. I do not want to chase a lion. I do not want to kill a lion. As a caregiver, I have enough coming at me to keep me busy and I'm not adding one more thing to the list! Lol. 

What I do want is to have this type of tenacity. Benaiah wasn't having anything that lion was serving up. I want to fight off the emotional vacuum that tries to suck me in with the same tenacity. I hope that I have Benaiah's attitude toward the lion - but about life. I'm not going down without a fight! I'll do all I can with what I have to keep my head above water and my heart latched to faith. It probably looks a lot more like treading water than chasing lions though, I'm just sayin'. But I don't care.

If I have to write one scripture down and read it 100 times a day for everyday for the rest of my life. Fine. If I have to bury my head in my pillow and scream my prayers. Fine. If I need to step outside and take a deep breath of fresh air to remind myself that I am still alive. So be it. But I refuse to let life's battle steal my faith, my hope in God, and my confidence that He is carrying me as needed.

Today, I'll remind myself that I'm not in this fight for my soul alone. We have each other, first off. But God has all of us. He carries our hearts, our emotions, and all those crazy thoughts we have each day. I'll remind myself that I don't have to fight the lion alone. God chooses to crawl into any pit I find myself in and be there with me. I love that about Him! I'll meditate on how He longs just to be close to us - and caregiving just made Him want to draw closer. I can rest in that truth as I trust Him just for today. Will you join me?

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Book of the Week!

21 Days

• ·         Are you a new Christian and you’re not sure how to build the habit of Bible reading?

  ·         Have you been looking for some encouragement to read your Bible?

  ·         What if it was actually very easy to read 5 minutes a day?

  ·         Do you need some practical and applicable ideas for developing Bible reading habits?

• Do you want to encourage a new believer in their Christian walk?

Grab a copy of 21 Days! I initially wrote it for the youth group I was pastoring to encourage them to develop the habit of reading their Bible every day.  A scripture is provided for each day, along with a thought or two about it. Then, there are more scriptures to read if there is time. The whole point is to make it easy to incorporate Bible reading into your daily schedule. It can be done in 5 minutes, or you can take up to 30 if you have the time. The point is just READ!

In the back of the book is a helpful list of actions you can take to help you incorporate Bible reading into your daily schedule. Use it over and over again, or gift it to someone who wants to learn how easy and rewarding it is to read the Bible every day. 

eBook: Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore 

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