The Soul Eclipse

 

I've been told that I "wear caregiving well." I'm pretty sure it was meant as a compliment and, of course, pointed to God's sustaining power. I'm still the silly, fun-loving person I always was, even though life changed forever. It can certainly feel like our soul is eclipsed by the cares of life. And there are very few people who will look past the moon (caregiving) to see the true light in the soul behind it. That's okay.

I still love a good joke and tasteful pranks. Who doesn't love a good laugh? It's good for the soul, and sometimes I watch funny movies just for the soul's benefit. But it seems that there is always a soul eclipse as caregiving can cast a shadow on everything since it infiltrates literally every aspect of our lives. There's no getting around it.

People see the bright and cheery part - but they don't see the nights I lay awake trying to figure out how to make ends meet. They don't see the times I'm so overwhelmed with emotions that I cannot function. Or maybe the stranger stares (we all get those!) are because they can't figure out why there is such a bright light behind our caregiving-darkened souls. But we know.

We know the sustaining power of God that shines around our souls and keeps us going. We understand that He is right there in the mix during those long, dark nights of the soul, and He's there to help us pull it all together once we get ready. But He also waits for us to be ready. He's not put off by our pain. He's not disgusted by our not-so-normal way of life. He never throws up His hands because He doesn't know what to do with us. And He certainly doesn't ignore us because we live life differently than everyone else. He doesn't have a box for us to fit in, so He's not lost when it comes to loving us.

Today, I will remind myself that God is in it with me - He's here for the long haul. He hasn't set a limit on His grace, and I know I have enough for today. I'll be thankful that His light continues to shine on my caregiving path, no matter what tries to eclipse it. My thoughts will be on His never-ending power to sustain my soul. And I'll trust Him to do just that for one more day. Will you join me?