God Created Hearts

Chris looking happy and content

I wonder if the caregiver heart is the fullest place on earth. We carry so much every single day. Our emotions and thoughts can literally be all over the place all day long. We made this choice because our hearts were full of love for our loved ones. And most of us had no idea of what the journey would actually entail - we started in blind faith, knowing God would walk it with us. Whatever "it" would look like.

Here I sit over 15 years later with no end in sight realizing there is no way I could have imagined this journey. Yet it was plotted in the heart of God before it even began. He planned on being there with me every sleepless night, every ER visit, every time I was certain my son was going to take his last breath. His plan to was to be there with me, for me, and to carry me as needed.

I know how heavy my heart can be - but God remains. 

I know how confusing my own heart's emotions can be - but God doesn't get confused.

I know how afraid my heart can be - but God ain't skeered. (Not even of my fear!)

In Psalm 33:15, the New Living Translation (1996) says, He made their hearts, so He understands everything they do. Wow. I don't even understand everything my heart processes and does. God is so in tune with us and truly gets us that He understands our hearts - those hearts HE made.

There are a lot of things I love about God, but the fact that He really "gets" us stands out so much. He never wrings His hands in worry over our doubts, lack of faith, or disgust. He is just present standing there quietly until I remember, Oh yeah - God's got this too. He is never judgemental and never condemns our emotions or thoughts. He just waits for us until we are ready for Him.

What a beautiful picture that is. We may be crying, broken, or laying on the ground. But God is standing over us covering us - waiting for us to be ready for Him once again. He doesn't walk away and tell us to call Him when we are ready - instead He stands there at the ready waiting for us to be okay with Him again. 

He's so patient. So kind. So loving. 

Today, I'll remind myself that even in my darkest nights, strongest emotions, and overwhelming fears - God gets me. He's waiting for me to be okay with His peace again. And when I am - He's right there for all I could ever imagine He could be and more.


Affirmations for Caregivers

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  1. Do you ever get angry at God for alllowing it to happen??

    1. Absolutely! I've been so upset and plain ole mad at God so many times for "letting" this happen to my son. Those are tough spots to work through, and God so graciously waits for me to process it... but it sure is hard sometimes.



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