Out of Control
Do you ever feel like you've finally fallen off the cliff and you and your emotions are spiraling out of control? Yeah, me too. The day-to-days of caregiving are enough without unpleasant surprises being tossed into the mix, right? If our loved one is struggling in some way or they become ill, or any number of things can send us spiraling off into an emotional cyclone. It's important to know we are not alone.
As I was thinking about some recent events and how they affected me and my emotions - I came to a conclusion. It's not the things we can control that send us off into emotional lala land. It's the things we can't control. The things out of our control that tip the scale against us. And for caregivers, that can be a LOT of things. And they can all come at one time. Unfair.
Each day it can be a struggle when it comes to managing emotions. I must say that there are times when they get the best of me. I feel what I feel though. The feelings are not the problem, it's trying to find a moment of sanity in the moment that is difficult.
We can control some things. But many things we have absolutely no control over. I would have loved to have been able to turn off my mom's declining mental state. But I had to work with what I had. I would love to help my son walk across the living room. But I have to work with what I have. It is those moments where we realize we have no control over circumstances that wear us down.
I wish I had a magic button or all the right words to say to make it better for us all. But there are none. What I have learned is that I can just keep running back to God over and over and over and over again... every single minute of every single day; and He meets me there every single time. He sees I am a mess. He knows I feel totally out of control. He understands my emotional load as well as the physical demands caregiving can put on me. But He still meets me in my moments. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And there are plenty of all types! Lol.
Today, I will remind myself that whether I feel totally lost and out of control, whether I need to cry or laugh, whether I need to take a moment to sit and just breathe, or run a marathon - God will meet me right where I am. My thoughts will be on how He doesn't put a lot of demands on me. Instead, He simply invites me to share my feelings and thoughts with Him. I'll remind myself that the I Am is right here, present with me as I walk out this day - no matter what it brings. He is not going anywhere, either. I will trust Him with my emotional baggage today. And I trust He will not turn me away! Will you join me?
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Affirmations for Caregivers
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