Still There?

 

The last 2 weeks have been a little crazy around here. I know (and hope) it's a temporary thing, but sleep seems to be a thing of the past. It seems that those long, dark, hard nights wear quicker on nerves than anything. That's where caregivers often find themselves asking questions like Can you even see us? Are you still there, God? Of course, we have the answers to those and other questions we ask during the dark nights of the soul, but it sure can feel like He's changed His mind about walking through time with us. We can feel so alone. So un-comforted. So forgotten.

But there's good news! God is still there. I'm so glad that He does not fluctuate with my emotions. He doesn't come and go at His leisure based on His own emotions. He remains. He is still here.

It's not a sin to ask God if He is still there. David echoed some of these same feelings, and God let it be in the Bible! David starts Psalm 13 by asking, O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? Now that is raw, real, and transparent before God. And you know what - God can handle it. He's not sitting on His throne wringing His hands, wondering how He'll win back our confidence. He allows us the grace to work through our struggle back to Him. 

Maybe it's like the butterfly. If you pull the outer shell of the cocoon away, allowing the butterfly to spread its beautiful wings too soon - it won't have the strength to fly. It'll look pretty, though. Maybe it's those long, dark night struggles, frantic prayers, and heart-felt questions that actually strengthen us - even though it feels quite the opposite at the time. Maybe those difficult times are what equip us to spread our wings out so others can see the true beauty of trusting God in adverse circumstances. I mean, let's be real. What good are beautiful wings if you never use them to take flight?

Today, I'll thank God for spending another long night with me - listening to me whine. I'll be thankful that He sticks around even when I'm asking all those crazy, emotional questions the night squishes out of me. I'll remind myself that He did not throw in the towel. He did not pack up and leave overnight. He didn't give up on me, even in my despair. He is still here.  I can trust Him with one more day - will you join me?

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Paperback, Kindle, or eBook

Affirmations for Caregivers contains an affirmation, a verse or two to read, and a prompt for a very short response for each day for a month or 31 days.  You can download the eBook from my Buy Me a Coffee shop and start today! The print and Kindle versions are also now available on Amazon! Check it out!

Don't forget the videos for the devotional are all on my YouTube channel too! I also just started a video/podcast about my caregiving journey on YouTube. The first few tell my son's story and the wreck to where we are now. I'll be continuing them with weekly broadcasts/podcasts. Check out the channel on YouTube.