What Doesn't Kill Ya...

 I'm sure you've heard the popular phrase, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I kinda hate that saying. Of course, I get it - but sometimes, dying might be easier. Lol. I am mostly joking. It's on my mind of late because, as I was reading the Psalms lately, I noticed that David often asked for God to prevent his enemies from killing him. Thankfully, caregiving won't physically kill us - but it might suck the life out of us, right?

David often asked God to save him from his enemies, who were literally physical enemies trying to stab him with a sword. Thankfully, and hopefully, we don't have a physical enemy who is chasing us down, trying to end our lives. But we do have some enemies of our souls. Fear. Doubt. Exhaustion. Helplessness. Hopelessness. Anxiety. Stress... need I go on? I'm pretty sure you can fill in that blank adequately! We can sympathize with Paul about being pressed in on every side. The struggle is real. I guess that's why David's prayers stood out to me this last week. 

In the New Living Translation (which is my favorite!), David said:

• So many enemies against one man - all of them trying to kill me. (62:3)
• May those who try to kill me be humiliated and put to shame. (70:2)
• For my enemies are whispering against me. They are plotting together to kill me. (71:10)

What a hard way to live your life running from people who are chasing you down. But of course, God spared David and he became king, just like God prophesied through the prophet Samuel. How difficult it must have been for David to imagine being king when he was hiding in a cave, running along a hidden path, or tucking behind boulders, hoping to not be seen. That's a far cry from sitting on a golden throne in a beautiful palace. I'm not looking for a palace, but I can relate to the running, hiding, and jumping part. These are daily emotional activities for the caregiver! Lol.

Let's look at a couple more scriptures. In Psalm 118:3, David states that his enemies tried their best to kill him BUT the Lord rescued him. In Psalm 119:95, David again acknowledges that his enemies seek to kill him. But he goes on to say that even in those frightening adverse circumstances - he would keep his mind on God's law. The Word. Isn't that what gets us through our days too?

I may not be at risk of losing my physical life, but I can certainly say I've fought for my own sanity! There have been lots of battles of the soulish kind. We fight fear, doubt, anxiety, and all sorts of other emotions that want to take us down for the last time. And the key to survival is clinging white-knuckle-fisted to His promises and His word. I will never leave you. Not even when I'm sitting in the ER watching my loved one in respiratory failure? Nope. It's not an easy road, but we never walk it alone.

Today, I will remind myself that my trust in God has grown over these caregiving years. I'll wonder if I'm stronger - I may never know that answer. I know that I am more determined to hold on to God. I'll meditate on the "enemies" God has kept from destroying me over this last decade and a half. I'll take a few minutes to reflect and be thankful for how He accompanies on this difficult journey. My meditations will be on being grateful for all He has walked through with me so far..and I'll reassure myself that He's not going anywhere today. I can trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

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Affirmations for Caregivers

I wrote Affirmations for Caregivers because it was what I needed to hear! This 31-day journal includes 31 scripturally based affirmations. Each day, the affirmation is followed by a short writing prompt and a verse or two to read. I also have videos on YouTube that coincide with each day's affirmation.