Shades of Grief

 

Grief is one of those things that cannot be understood or explained. It's different for each individual, and we all deal with it in different ways. Some stuff it down and try not to process grief at all. Others cry a lot, while some express grief as anger. No matter how we slice it - grief is there because of a loss.

Somehow, even though grief and sorrow are a huge part of just being alive, it's still something we don't discuss. Maybe it's because it's such a difficult emotion to process, or it's something that simply cannot be "fixed." You can't just be sad for a little bit and move along with life as normal because somehow, something, everything just changed. 

We can also grieve over a lot of different things. Of course, we grieve when someone we love passes. But we often overlook grief. When the world was in full-on pandemic mode, it took me a while to realize we were grieving over the loss of our lifestyles. Those who worked out of the home had to make major changes, and their social lives were lost. We grieved that our norms were gone.

For caregivers, grief is just part of the package. We may grieve over our elderly loved ones as we watch them slowly slip away. We miss the person they were, yet we must care for who they are. Parents who care for children may grieve over what could never be. And caregiving for an adult child who became disabled in some way brings grief over the loss of who they were before. That just touches the surface for the most common scenarios. Caregivers are definitely acquainted with grief, even if it takes us a while to figure out that's what we are feeling.

In fact, ambiguous grief and living grief are real terms for suffering loss and grieving day after day. Instead of losing someone who dies, we grieve over a person who is still here but is not who they were. 

No one talks about it. Maybe because there are no answers, no bandaids, no quick fixes. It just goes on and on and on and on and...

But I discovered in the Psalms specifically that grief is expressed a lot. So, it must not be a sin! Lol. There are at least 56 verses or passages that express grief in some way. I was hoping for 31 for the new devotional I started working on - but with so many, I'll have to rethink my writing strategy! Lol. David and the other psalmist freely expressed their grief. God will not condemn it. In fact, He meets us in it.

Psalm 148:4 ended up being one of my favorites. The NASB says He will beautify the afflicted with salvation. Isaiah 61:3 says He gives us beauty for ashes. The hope is that even though we are surrounded by the ashes of the life or loved one we had, God is with us and can bring beauty from the leftover ashes. He will sit there with us in the pile of ashes our lives have become, and He will gracefully bring beauty to our souls.

He won't abandon. He won't walk away because He doesn't know how to help us process grief. God understands the process of grief. In Isaiah 53, it says that He was acquainted with grief. God won't condemn us - He created us this way.

Sometimes, the beauty is that we understand He gives us the grace to grieve. Then He gives us the grace and strength to get up out of our ash heap and finish out the day. God has the grace to see beauty in our ashy faces.

Today, I will give myself the grace to grieve. Then, I will give myself the gift of trusting God with my sorrow and loss. I'll remind myself that He knows whether I can express it or not. My thoughts will be on the times He's come to sit with me in my ash heap, in my sorrow, and in my grief. There is no condemnation, and I can sit as long as I need to process it. He will stay right there with me. My meditations will be on how He stays even in the ugliest parts of life - even if I'm acting ugly! God won't abandon, condemn, or dismiss emotions. He just stays right where I am, with me. I will thank Him for that today as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Today is a good day to peace out! Check out my 31-day devotional on Kindle or in Print!

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