Second Guessing

 How much time do you spend every day second-guessing your decisions? I may not be able to find a specific time for that, but I know I do it a lot, and it is exhausting. My mind runs back over every piece of the day as I wonder if I could or should have done something differently. Or better. Or worse. Lol.

I "should" on myself a lot. Maybe I should have taken him to the hospital sooner. Maybe I shouldn't have taken him at all. I should have called the doctor. These scenarios can go on in my mind all day long if I let them. Second-guessing is part of caregiving, isn't it? Always wondering about the what ifs. But second-guessing doesn't change one thing, not at all. 

I wonder if some of our Bible characters did any second guessing. I was reading Acts 16 this morning. Paul and Silas thought about going to Asia, but God said, "No." Then Paul had the dream where the man asked him to come to Macedonia, and that's where they went. There were some really good things that happened. They met Lydia, a merchant who dealt in fine materials. Then, the girl was set free from the demons that were tormenting her.

But bad things happened, too. The men who were making a living off the young lady got mad when they realized their income was affected by her freedom. They turned angrily toward Paul and Silas, who were then beaten and put in stocks in the inner prison. They could have second-guessed whether or not they should have ever come to Macedonia. 

In fact, in 2 Corinthians 7:5, Paul said that they had no rest in Macedonia. He goes on to describe how they had conflict from every direction and battled on the outside and inside. But he sure didn't say that he regretted going there or that he wondered if he had missed God.

I think as caregivers we can relate on some level (maybe on many levels) to Paul when he said there were battles on the outside and fear on the inside. Sounds like a typical day. It's difficult to make decisions for another person. But also, like Paul, we just keep going because we know God will meet us in those dark spaces. He came to Paul and Silas when their feet and arms were chained in stocks in a dark prison cell. When they praised God - He met them there. God wasn't afraid of the dark! He's not afraid of our dark spaces either - even if they are in our minds!

Today, I will praise God from life's prison cell. I choose to turn my thoughts to His unending mercies, sufficient grace, and His peace. I will purposefully shift my attention to all that He is even while I feel that life lacks so much. My heart will fill with thanksgiving for how He continues to meet me in the dark cell of my mind and the recesses of my heart that no one else can see. And I'll smile as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Check out one of my best-selling books - 31 Days in Psalm 31. It's a devotional taken from Psalm 31 (obviously!) - a time when David was hiding in a cave from Saul - even though he'd been anointed the next king. The social isolation of caregiving can certainly make it feel like we live in a cave, but God is there with us. And that's what this 31-day devotional is all about, exploring and discovering God in the caves of life. You can get the eBook from my shop at Buy Me A Coffee. Or the print and kindle versions are available in my Amazon Shop.