Not Drunk

Chris in a standing frame at the 34 Project

 I promise I am not drunk, nor have I had an alcoholic beverage in the recent past... like a few days at least. (lol) But as I got up and stumbled around this morning, that's the thought I had.

Seriously, my brain seemed so foggy, and I felt very disconnected at all of life's joints. I walked around talking to myself out loud. For real. The world felt fuzzy and distant. I laughed as I thought, I feel drunk. I guess I was drunk on caregiving. I've talked a lot about the caregiver's fog, but this was a bit deeper than that. I felt really messed up. Emotionally. Mentally. Even spiritually. And I still had to get ready for the Facebook Live devotions I do weekday mornings! SMH.

As usual, I got my coffee and sipped it as I reached for sanity and searched for a verse to share. The word “discombobulated” comes to mind. I was all out of sorts, and for no apparent reason. I suppose caregiving is enough to give this effect.

Psalm 68 was on my mind from a lesson I'd done a day or two ago. I opened it and rehearsed the first verse. Let God arise, and His enemies be scattered. I thought, let faith arise and fear and doubt be scattered. I began to pray and tell Him my situation, as if He didn't know! I think it's those moments of feeling utterly dependent on Him is where we get our strength. We need to know how much we really need Him and caregiving is a great teacher! 

You know what? He didn't tell me to go away until I had it all sorted out. He didn't say that He didn't understand. And He didn't tell me I couldn't bring all that up in "here." He listened and slowly, as I leaned into His heart, He replaced all the fog with peace. 

Science tells us that for every action - there is an opposite and equal reaction. But I think that God's reaction to my prayer and trust (action) is far more powerful than my action and dependence on Him.

Today, I'll remind myself that we really can bring it ALL to Him. There are no exclusionary statements in scriptures to tell us that this verse or that verse doesn't apply to caregivers. There are no exclusions or limits that determine what we can and cannot bring to Him, either. He takes us just like we are, even with all our foggy thoughts and drunken emotions. I love that about God! I think I can trust Him for one more day, can you join me?



Cover of "Peace Out It's in the Bible!"

 Peace Out! It's in the Bible is a 31-day devotional that is focused on letting God's peace reign in our hearts - no matter what. You can get the eBook from my shop at Buy Me A Coffee. Or the print and kindle versions are available in my Amazon Shop.



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