Tiny Little Things
Caregivers often run so close to the edge that it only takes something small to cause an emotional catastrophe. Our circumstances require us to get in high gear and stay there all day (and sometimes all night) long. We get accustomed to it, as it's just part of the caregiver journey.
We never know when we'll need to make a run to the ER. Supplies may or may not come on time, or they may or may not come at all. We learn to make quick adjustments as they are necessary for our survival and the care of our loved ones. Remaining in high gear all the time can wear on us, even though we may not want to admit it. Our tired bodies and souls won't let us forget it, though.
One thing that is frustrating, on top of already being frustrated, is how short my fuse can be. Because there's always something needing my immediate attention, anything that pops up sends me off the rail. Lol. I hope you don't identify!
I think it's interesting that even on the best days, when things are going smoothly, my son is doing well, and we are safe at home - my fuse is still too short! I lose it when I can't find the pen I was just using. You'd think the world ended if you saw me freak out over trying to find a pair of matching socks. I'm so quick to tell myself how dumb I am or how much I need to get it together.
But those are signs that there is just too much going on 24-7 in my mind and my soul. It's the tiniest little things that get to us that remind us we live on overload.
It's also the tiniest little things that help snap us out of this craziness!
A text from a friend who is just checking in. Getting to spend a few minutes with grandkids we haven't seen in months. Or, something even smaller, like finding the perfect song on our playlist or getting five minutes to read a book. Maybe it's something as "small" as getting to sit and drink a whole cup of coffee uninterrupted. Lol. Hey, that's important too!
But the best "little" thing that is easy to miss is that God gets it. He gets us. He knows we are living on the edge all the time. (Aerosmith may be jealous! lol) God doesn't condemn us at all. In fact, Paul reminds us in Romans 8:1 that there is absolutely no condemnation for those of us who are in Christ. There is no condemnation or judgment for us as believers, even if we lose it because we realize we put the can of beans in the fridge instead of the cabinet! lol.
I love that God gets us when most of the world doesn't have a clue. They have no idea what goes on in our lives, our hearts, our caregiving worlds from day to day. Maybe they are scared to know! Lol. But God is not! He jumps right in here with us, rolls up His sleeves, and gets to work protecting our souls.
Today, I'll remind myself to slow down a bit (as much as is possible). My meditations will be on how God is here - in the mess - in my mess - in the hectic days - the long nights - and He never gets tired. I'll think about how God always offers a strong shoulder to lean my soul on. It's always available, no matter what a day brings. My goal is to acknowledge that He is the keeper of my soul today and to lean into Him just a little more today than I did yesterday. My personal assignment for me is to not be so hard on myself and to trust Him just a little more today than I did yesterday. Will you join me?
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Affirmations for Caregivers
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