Flying Solo

 Have you ever been in a group and felt like you were still alone? I think it kind of goes along with caregiving. Then there are times when you get to a venue only to realize it's not accessible. Or worse, you're not even invited because the event was scheduled at an inaccessible venue. Even when we can get out and be with people, we can still experience social isolation. It's real. It's deep.

Recently, I was out and about, and even though I was in a crowd, I felt very alone. Isolated. Different. Noticeable, and not in a good way. Little things that aren't a big deal at home seemed to become huge. Like my son drooling on himself, or having to adjust him in the chair. Standing him for a second to get the pad right under him, or just getting him in and out of the car. Sigh. Simple caregiving tasks can separate us from mainstream society. But they shouldn't.

As I was thinking about some of these things and how alone we can feel even when we are with others, I realized how alone we can be even in a crowd. It's like we are flying solo all the time. 

But then, I found this list in a notebook. (I have tons of them sitting around fulfilling various purposes! So, it's a big deal to find anything of substance! lol) It simply said: 

Alone: Hagar, the woman at the well, and Gideon.

I have no idea what I was going to do with the list or where it was going, but it was what I needed to see in the moment. (And here we are! lol)

Hagar was "found" alone twice by the Angel of the Lord. One time she was wrong, one time she was right - but God met her both times while she was alone. 

The woman at the well came there alone to draw water. Jesus met her there on purpose. She certainly wasn't perfect, and we don't even know her name! But Jesus told the disciples, I need to go through Samaria. Which was pretty taboo for Jewish guys back then. Plus - He purposefully talked to a woman!  Of all the nerve! LOL. 

Gideon was threshing wheat all alone the night the angel appeared to him. He was determined that the Midianites were not going to get his wheat this time. He didn't seem to care if he had help or not (for sure!), he was in the wine press working the wheat. Alone.

We could probably go on with a longer, more detailed list. But it's interesting that some of the most notable stories are about people who were flying solo. As far as we know, there was no one there to encourage them or tell them they were doing a good job. But God "found" them - He sought them out and met them where they were.

Today, I'll remind myself that God is still meeting solo fliers right where they are. Whether we caused the mess or not, He will walk right in and meet us there. I'll think about Gideon and how he had rolled up his sleeves and went to work in the middle of the night, which was also the dark night of his soul, but God "found" him there. God will find us, too! The woman at the well was just going about her daily duties, but Jesus purposefully made sure to be there (and she wasn't even looking for Him!). God will meet us in the darkness. He will meet us in our imperfections. He will meet us in our daily routine. He just wants to meet us to "find" us where we are and be with us and empower us. 

I'll remind myself that I am empowered by the Holy Spirit living in me. (Ephesians 3:16) He will help me trust God for one more day, or one really long night of the soul! Will you join me?

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Affirmations for Caregivers

I wrote Affirmations for Caregivers because it was what I needed to hear! This 31-day journal includes 31 scripturally based affirmations. Each day, the affirmation is followed by a short writing prompt and a verse or two to read. I also have videos on YouTube that coincide with each day's affirmation.