The Blank Stare

I could make a long list of the things caregiving has taught me. One thing I think I'd want to put at the top of the list is that God is a safe place. He doesn't respond in anger, even when I'm mad at Him. But He does listen to my cries, so intently that He hears all the emotions behind every tear that falls and every deep sigh that escapes. He gets it. 

As I was walking back through Psalm 91 this morning, I had a deluge of thoughts. I thought about what it means to live in the shelter of the Most High. And how often I've found rest in His shadow. Oh, how I know this is true, even on the roughest of days. It's comforting just to know we have a place we can hide. And even though we don't physically hide in Him, we have that safe place for our raw emotions. He won't condemn us or kick us out. He won't give us that blank stare either!

As caregivers, we get it a lot. People we don't know stare at us blankly. Like, maybe they have tons of questions, but they are afraid to ask. Kids stare at us a lot, too, perhaps out of curiosity. If I notice a child staring at Chris, I usually say, "This is my son, would you like to meet him?" Usually, they either nod yes or run back to mama. LOL. I've found that kids ask the best questions, too. Even if it embarrasses their mama! But adults? Mostly offer a blank stare like they can't comprehend. I just laugh it off most of the time, I mean, seriously, when I go to the store, and I'm pushing my son's wheelchair and dragging a cart, we are a funny sight! 

Somehow, that blank stare digs deeply into the soul. I don't know what they are thinking, but I know that God never looks at us like that. We'll see compassion. Care. Peace. Overflowing love. But He won't give us the blank stare like He has no idea what to do or say. In fact, I think He moves in closer when we feel we are more vulnerable. 

Today, I will remind myself of God's endless compassion and mercy. My thoughts will be on how He walks this caregiving journey with us and doesn't just stare from a distance. He will not make us uncomfortable, but moves in closer to encourage us and comfort us. I'll think about how He provides us a safe place to unload all those caregiving emotions. He offers no judgment, no condemnation. Just acceptance and understanding as He covers us and keeps us. I believe I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

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