Done it all?

Do you ever go through those patches when the difficulties of caregiving life just seem to get tougher? As if caregiving alone isn't enough to navigate, we still have some sort of "life" left to figure out, too. There are more members in most of our families than just us and our loved ones, right? We still have to figure out finances, doctor's visits, our own health, relationships (family and friends), emotions, church stuff... and the list could go on, or be shorter based on our unique circumstances.

Then, we go through times when it feels like it's a fight to just breathe. But we don't get to take a breather. We have to push through with at least our caregiving tasks. No one's going to do it for us, and sometimes there's no one around to do it with us, either. There's no option but to suck it up and figure it out! So, we do.

But digging out of an emotional tunnel day after day can take a toll. And that's where I was today. Tired. Double tired. Double, double tired... you get the idea. I'm not a crier, as it really does no good at all. You wipe the tears, blow your nose, and nothing changed that got you in that crushing spot to begin with. Lol. But I do pray. 

I sat today and just prayed. I asked a lot of questions. Asked for guidance. For wisdom. For direction and help from Holy Spirit. I was at the end of my proverbial rope and my soul whispered, I keep trying but it feels like I keep losing. 

A scripture came to mind immediately. That's how I know God's trying to get a message through my thick head. LOL. When you've done all...stand. I knew the reference. I have read it and taught from the passage many times. But I opened my Bible and began to read the familiar verses again.

When you've done everything you can - stand...with. That's a big word all of a sudden.

Verse 13 of Ephesians 6 says to use every piece of God's armor to resist - so that after the battle (not the entire war - just the battle) you'll still be standing.

Then, I got stuck on verse 14. Stand your ground wearing the belt of truth.  The truth? The truth is I'm tired. I'm alone. I'm broke. I'm in a mess I made myself on top of caregiving. Then I realized I'd been lying to myself. Yes. caregiving is hard. Yes, in many cases we are victims of life, of circumstances, or situations out of our control... but we don't need to make ourselves victims. Why?

We have the truth. The truth is that:

• We are beloved of God.
• We are the head and not the tail.
• He supplies our needs.
• He is the keeper and sustainer of our souls.
• He catches every tear (even the ones we refuse to let fall).
• He is with us.
• He's got our backs.
• He gives us strength to carry on.
• He is standing with us.

It didn't take long to talk myself out of that dark place that was trying to spiral me down into the emotional abyss. I let my mind wander through the promises in the scriptures. It didn't really take too long for me to rise above the negativity that was trying to swallow me and realize that I am still victorious. Just because we are caregivers doesn't mean we gave up our victory in Christ. 

We are still saved (helmet of salvation protects our heads/minds). We are still righteous (breastplate protects our hearts). We still have the sword of the Spirit - the Word of God, and He's not taking it back! 

Today, I will remind myself that caregiving didn't strip me of a single thing God gave me for life and godliness! I will meditate on how we don't have less of the Kingdom of God in us due to caregiving responsibilities. We are not less saved, less blessed, than anyone else. He's still got us covered, and He didn't even take His armor back! We can wear righteousness, salvation, truth, the gospel of peace - and His word still fights for us and in us. I feel better - I think I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?