Emotional Traffic Jam

 It's funny. I went to bed late last night, leaving some things undone, as usual. When I woke up this morning, they were still undone. All that means is that I am as overwhelmed this morning upon rising as I was last night when I lay down. Funny how that works. 

Overwhelm is such a difficult thing caregivers deal with. I think most of us deal with it on many different levels. Taking care of the needs of a loved one is overwhelming enough all by itself. But then caregivers can have any number of other situations that add to that overwhelm.

Many have outside jobs or work from home. Some are still caring for children or grandchildren. This list could go on and on, I am sure, if we all added in our "extras" that we do above and beyond our caregiving duties. 

Life didn't hit pause when caregiving began. That means we still have to cook, clean, work, figure out our finances, grocery shop, and do all the things we normally do or did, and add caregiving to it. It's a lot, and I will be the first one to admit I am overwhelmed.

As usual, I found comfort in the Psalms this morning. In Psalm 142:3, David wrote, For I am overwhelmed, and You alone know the way I should turn. Wherever I go, my enemies have set traps for me. Caregiving can feel like there isn't a right direction. Not to brag or anything, but I can spend half the day or longer trying to figure out which chore to tackle first.

This morning, I got up and stumbled toward the kitchen to make my first cup of coffee. In the process, I glanced at the living area and realized I'd left it in a little mess last night. I was up late trying to get a video job application to the right device so I could upload it. I finally sent the video about midnight and crashed in bed. 

Add straightening the living room to my "do it first" list for the day. Lol. But that feeling of overwhelm was simply draining, and I was barely out of bed! I use analogies a lot; they provide a mental image for things that can't quite be explained. I kept thinking how I need to do everything all at once. It's all important, from work to laundry, transfers to grocery shopping; nothing can be ignored.

The image I came up with was a traffic jam. A Chicago-style traffic jam! It's caused because everyone leaves work to go home all at the same time. The highways are not enough to keep up with the steady flow, so everyone ends up going very slowly. It's all backed up. That's how life feels right now. Sitting at a standstill emotionally until one of those front cars gets out of the way and the flow slowly begins again.

Maybe that's a little of what David felt when he penned, Wherever I go - it's all traps. In verse 6, David says, Hear my cry, for I am very low. I love how David comes to God with raw, real, open honesty. He just lays it all out there before the Lord. But he also always asks God for help. That's what I am going to do today, too!

Today, I will read Psalm 142 again and use it to form my own request for help from the Lord. I will remind myself that He hears my heart's cry, even the things I don't have enough words to express fully. My meditations will be on how He purposefully listens to my "complaint" and then steps in. He brings brand new mercies to my day. He still has sufficient grace for my struggles, and He never condemns me for my thoughts or emotions. I will trust that He will guide and guard my heart today as I navigate through the mess (which I probably made myself lol). I know that I can trust Him for one more emotionally congested day. Will you join me?

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Affirmations for Caregivers

I wrote Affirmations for Caregivers because it was what I needed to hear! This 31-day journal includes 31 scripturally based affirmations. Each day, the affirmation is followed by a short writing prompt and a verse or two to read. I also have videos on YouTube that coincide with each day's affirmation.