Just So Constant

 Caregiver burnout is real. I'm pretty sure that this is what is going on with me. The other day, I got a beautiful wedding invitation from my nephew. It's a few states away, so there's no way I can try to tackle it at this time. I cried. I don't cry a lot, but that day, I cried. 

Just a few months ago, I missed my niece's ceremony. They were very good about trying to accommodate, but it was just too far away, and funds were too low to even consider it. 

As caregivers, we miss a lot. Maybe we get a little used to it, eventually. But it is a constant force. Oppressively pushing us down, if we let it. Even if we fight the oppression, it's a constant fight. Day after day of life trying to stuff us down into oblivion. It's easy for it to feel that way, isn't it?

There's no doubt that we are engaging in a constant fight. It's work to keep pressing in. Even though we keep coming back to fully trusting Him, life can still hurt. It can still suck the breath out of us. We may even be pretty prepared for that - but sometimes it catches us off guard, like the invitation from my nephew. 

Just when I thought I had protected myself, lol. 

But as my custom has been, I find solace in the word. I LOVE God's word, and there's always an answer, a hint of hope, or a glimpse of His grace that helps us shake off the constant outside pressure that comes from a life of caregiving.

Psalm 9:9 says this in the New Living Translation (1996): The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in the times of trouble. I find a little comfort knowing that He sees. He knows, even if no one else knows, or sees, or cares. God does. 

Even though there is no easy escape from the pressures of caregiving, knowing God understands helps a little. He's a safe place (the ONLY safe place) to dump emotions and thoughts. We can trust Him to shelter our souls. We can bring all our sighs and tears to Him, no matter how deep-rooted they are, and we can trust that He will hold us. He will keep our souls. He will hear us. He's got us covered all the way around. 

He's not afraid of our emotions. He doesn't despise our tears. He gets every single emotion and thought behind our sighs. Thank You, Lord, for getting us.

Today, I'll remind myself that even though there is constant pressure from the outside, His peace is firmly planted on the inside. I'll think about how He doesn't avoid us or the struggles of caregiving. My meditation will be on how He made us, and nothing surprises Him. He is well-prepared to handle our crazy thoughts and emotions and strengthen us as we try to wrangle them and trap them with His peace. I'll settle down, grab another cup of coffee, and choose to trust Him with all my "this" for one more day. Will you join me?

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