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The Peace of Integrity

I'm still reading Job and really enjoying it. One thing that is standing out in my mind is how his friends keep arguing that there is some sort of flaw in Job or he would not be in this terrible situation. I guess it stands out to me so much because I had people say these same types of things to me when I was very ill in 1986. (It's a long story I'll try to write somewhere else - but obviously I lived!) Job's "friends" attack his character each time they speak because they were trying to analyze it according to their own religious dogma. Yet all the way through Job maintains that he has not sinned to cause all the tragedy to come upon him. Isn't that among some of our first thoughts after a tragedy strikes and we try to settle into a new normal? In Job 13:15 Job makes one of the most faith-filled statements that is contained in scriptures. He states that even if God slays him - he will still trust Him. Some versions say still hope in Him.   While this...

Some Kind of Warrior

David was a warrior who faced many battles. The warrior side of him is seen even when he was a youth and went out to face Goliath who was many times his own size. In 1 Samuel 17:28, it says that even after Goliath's lofty threats, David ran out to meet him. David would face many battles after that monumental day. But there would also come a day when he would have to encourage himself in the Lord. Sometimes it can seem like the caregiver's day is one battle after another; and like David, we must many times encourage ourselves in the Lord . It takes some kind of warrior to do that, don't you think? I know - most caregivers are not going to think of themselves as warriors! Our M.O. is more along the lines of well, we just do what we do. While that is true and we feel like we just put one foot in front of the other most of the time...we are doing much more than that. Let me explain. As a caregiver I have battled depression and that is not uncommon for us. But how many ti...

Still Here

This week I decided to return to Job. It may sound odd to those most familiar with his story, but I was actually looking for some comfort. While his friends did not offer him much comfort or hope, my thinking was that by reading some of the things Job said I could gain a better perspective and find peace in dealing with the situation. So far, I haven't got past chapter 1. I hope we can take this journey through the book of Job together. The first thing that caught my attention was that Job was blameless, a man of integrity, and he stayed away from evil . (You do know that Job wrote the book, right? *smile*) The second thing that caught my attention was further down when Satan confronted God about Job. He said that God protected Job, his family and all of his possessions from harm. He suggested that if Job lost everything, he would curse God to His face. This is where I stopped for some inner reflections. As a caregiver, nothing is easy. Everything in our worlds have likely chan...

The God Who Sees

It is difficult to understand the life of caregiving unless you are a caregiver. And even then, each situation is so very unique we do not always have the capacity to understand each others' situations. Sometimes it hurts most when those we think are supposed to care do not seem to. That can be family, friends or health care professionals. It's really frustrating when they don't get it . You know? Sometimes one of the most frustrating things about caregiving is the inability to have a schedule. We can keep a shell of one, but it seems there's always something that comes along to disrupt it. Our loved one has a bad day, aides don't show up, nurses decide to come during the only time you were going to have to yourself for the week.... yes that really happened! And the load becomes heavier...not even because of the caregiving itself, but because of all the baggage that comes along with caregiving. This morning has been one of those mornings for me; made up of tho...

Am I Dead Yet?

Did you ever have one of those days that when you thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, it did? Yesterday it was like that around here. I do not have to explain the wide range of horrible emotions that go through the caregiver's heart when they feel even for an instant that they missed something. We can feel like we do a very poor job - it does not matter if it's true or not. You see a sore, miss a feeding; it could be anything that just happens because even though caregivers are awesome - we must admit we are not perfect. On one hand we get this superman mentality like, if I can do this (caregiving), I must be able to do anything! This is accompanied by emotions from the other end of the spectrum that are associated with feeling like life is over for us. This is most likely the way it will be from here on out for many of us. Life as we knew it BC (before caregiving) is no more. The lifestyle we had may have slowly oozed away with the declining health of a loved on...

He's Got This!

Things can pile up very quickly in the day of a caregiver; an aide cancels, your loved one is ill. There are tons of things that seem to need to be done just this instant and by noon you are already exhausted and have an entire day of chores that still need to be completed. When you realize you actually don't have time to attend an online Time Management seminar, you know it's pretty bad! Well that is just the tip of the iceberg for how the morning was here today. As I sipped the fresh coffee, I began praying and asking the Lord to carry me. For caregivers the day can just look too long sometimes. A brief mental search of scriptures brought nothing up so I fired up the computer after finishing a few important chores and didn't find one about Him carrying (although I am certain that He does because there are times like today when there is no strength...I know you understand.) The search then turned to Him catching me when I fall. The caregiver does not have to worry abo...

Can He Afford That?

After yesterday's thoughts about how the Lord gives us patience, hope, peace and encouragement I looked at a few more scriptures along that line. (We may stay on this thought for awhile!) I ended up in John 14:27 where Jesus tells us I am leaving you with a gift; peace of mind and heart . And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives, so don't be troubled or afraid. (NLT) In this world today I am not sure we are aware of what it really feels to have peace of mind and heart. The world is in turmoil all around us and our lives as caregivers can be full of it. We can get up in the morning, have ourselves all together (emotions included) and something will occur to try and remove our peace. Perhaps an aide does not show up or there's a confrontation with a health provider who really does not want to do their job (or so it seems), or maybe it's just that our loved one is not having the best day - which means we do not either. But all of a sudden it can be ...