Daily Devotions for Caregivers

It's been another crazy week around here, sometimes I wonder what happened to my cave. I used to go days without talking to a soul and now it seems my apartment has a revolving door and my phone doesn't stop. Sometimes I think I need a bit of a break, but most times I actually like it because it's more like my true "norm." My house has always been a hub of activity and my friends know I have an open door policy . Basically, anyone's welcome anytime. It's just who I am. But it can keep me on my toes when it comes to balancing out caregiving, jobs and the rest of life. Last night was a late night as many have been lately. I had a project due for a client and lots of work on my plate. I did change my alarm this morning to a bit later so I could get a little sleep. I know it's necessary but it can seem like such a waste. (slightly joking) Do you know what I could get done in that 4-6 hours? I get frustrated because I'm human and my body demands it....

You really never know what a day is going to bring. Many of us became caregivers because of a tragic event like I did with my son. Others may care for parents or loved ones who are in a slow decline like my Mom. Either way, we do the best we can with what we have to work with each day. No one knows this path unless they walk it. There are many difficulties, as well as many blessings along the way. For me, one of the most difficult parts of this journey has been hooking back into scriptures. It took some time as I was so angry with God for allowing this to happen. Then it took more time for Him to reshape my faith and help me understand Him more fully. He's not a magical potion that keeps trouble away - but instead a powerful force that carries me through. Sometimes when I read familiar passages I can still feel the struggle between what I thought faith was and how it actually plays out in our day to day lives. This morning was one of those times as I was reading in Isaiah. I ...

Do you ever read the Bible and get frustrated? I do. And immediately afterwards I feel guilty. But feelings are feelings now, aren't they? This morning after making coffee, changing and bolusing my son, I sat down with my Bible and a fresh cup of coffee to read a bit. My pen was in Zechariah so I just started reading there in chapter 8 which starts talking about God's passionate love for Mount Zion and Jerusalem. It continues talking about how He is going to rescue His people and restore them. Zechariah says God will bring all His people back home and basically restore their fortunes, reestablish them and give them peace. In verse 12, God says He is going to plant seeds of peace and prosperity among them. I wonder what that looks like when it plays out in real time. For a long time, I thought God was going to ride in on a white horse and rescue me and my son too. Of course that didn't happen. Then I struggled with anger, bitterness and frustration. Caregivers have to ...

Do you feel like you are in a constant state of change? Sometimes I am afraid to put my feet down so to speak, as everything is bound to be different before I get them settled. Today will be different too, as each day is unique and yet redundant at the same time. We do the same caregiving tasks over and over, day after day. Today, though I have the promise of an aide. And now that I have settled in to an aide-less routine, that means changing it all up again. It sounds silly and like it wouldn't matter, but it really does change a lot. For instance, I want to make sure our laundry is sorted out because when aides are not coming regularly I do some of it together. I also have to get Chris fed, bathed or up (depending on his sleeping schedule) before the aide comes - or figure out when it fits in. I pretty much have to change the way I do my mornings since I have word he's really going to come. (His boss told him if he didn't show up today, she'd restaff him. Why sh...

I was reading Isaiah 55 this morning and several things jumped out at me. One of them was verse 10 which says He was pleased to crush Him . That made me think of how they make essential oils (which I use daily) and how perfume is made as well. In either of these processes, it's the crushing that brings out the sweet fragrance. Now, I have to admit that sometimes in the crushing - the fragrance that has been released was not pleasant. Remember crushing stink bugs as a kid - that was not nice, nor did it smell good. Crush a garlic and you'll smell garlic. But you will get whatever is inside of what's being crushed. Caregiving can be a crusher that lets us know what's truly inside. As a matter of fact, it's more like a constant crushing, I refer to it as living in the furnace. It never stops. This can reveal our character - what we are really made of - what we really smell like. I've seen both as it pertains to myself. There are times when the crushing come...

It's so easy to get lost in the shuffle. We don't have to go through the list of all the things we have to do in a day, or the numerous people who come through weekly to check on our loved one, or the paperwork we have to keep up with - all to provide proper care. But most of these activities are based around the one we are caring for - not around us. My "love language" is time. If you spend time with me I feel loved. You can lavish gifts on me  (not that anyone has tried that recently! lol) and I won't necessarily be able to translate that as love.  But spend time with me and I will feel like you care. The social isolation of caregiving and the always feeling like you're out of step with normal  can start to wear on you. Lately, I'm so much more comfortable with caregiving - and not struggling as much about going into public places. I guess that happens when you don't have an aide for an extended period of time and you just have to adjust. I ...

One of the things I do to "deal" with caregiving is run. I started while my son was initially in the hospital because I was looking for a way to be active. We spent almost 4 months in the hospital after his wreck. I stayed with him and never left except for very short outings to do laundry and such. I read a lot, but finally started a running plan just to get some activity in as the sitting wore me out. It took me three weeks to work up to the beginning program, but eventually I trained for that first 5K. I found running to be a great stabilizer for me. When I run, my body releases tension, my head seems to clear and I just feel better in general. Yesterday I finished my 22nd half marathon. I hadn't trained properly for it so it was a tough one. That and the fact that I'm coming off an injury I sustained in an 8 mile trail race  back in January made for a rather painful race. On a tough race like that all the "good thoughts" disappear about 7 miles in....