Posts

One Word

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You know I've been studying and working/walking through Psalm 119 taking a section a day. Today I landed in verse 114. It says this: You are my hiding place and my shield; I wait for Your word.  I tried to finish my daily reading, but thoughts were distracting me.There are so many nuggets to take away from this one verse. My first thoughts were of hiding in Him, of staying nestled up close to Him during the storms of life and the struggles that can come along with caregiving. I thought about sometimes how He just holds my heart in His until mine syncs to the rhythm of His. I thought about those midnight hours when Chris has been sick or uncomfortable and I didn't know what to do - and He was the calm in the storm. I knew Him as my hiding place long before caregiving, but caregiving brought it home to me. There is a place in Him I can crawl up and let it all go. There's no condemnation, no rebuke, no misunderstanding - just His gentle touch. Then I thought about how He...

Eager Desire

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This weekend, the weather was beautiful so Chris and I signed up for a race. I was all set to push him but the two young men in the photo asked to push him for me. They were so eager, I nervously gave them my baby. I laugh, but in all honesty, it was difficult to allow him to be in someone else's hands for that little bit of time. It did, however, free me up to run the race. I think what moved me about it all was that they were so eager to push my son. They wanted  to and as you can see by their expressions when we passed on the course, they enjoyed  it. They were not enduring it or doing it because they felt they had to. I have to say - it was a true blessing and it touched my heart in a way I've not even been able to describe with words yet. It's far too often that caregivers and their loved ones are avoided. We can start to think we have the plague or something contagious. People tend to ignore us and avoid us. Or maybe it seems that way. Many times, it's bec...

Do Warriors Get Tired?

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Lately, I've been studying about David. Specifically, I've been reading the story about how he took out Goliath. Then I continued that study with how his men ended up taking out the four brothers of Goliath. I have a suspicion that David would have really liked to have done that himself but it didn't work out that way. The story of how Goliath's brothers were all taken down is in 2 Samuel 21. In verse 14, Saul and Jonathan were buried. Then in verse 15, it starts walking the reader through a series of battles. These four giants were not taken down in just one battle, like caregiving, it just went from one battle to the next, back-to-back. But David didn't get to "play." In verse 15, it says they were all down fighting with the Philistines but David became weary . His men told him he could no longer go to battle with them because it was too risky. As I read it, I thought David was a mighty warrior.   He was accustomed to the battle. He never lost!   Y...

Wineskin in the Smoke

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I've been going through Psalm 119 while leading an online group devotion each morning. Today's reading included verse 83 which says I am shriveled like a wineskin in the smoke, exhausted with waiting, but I cling to Your principles and obey them. (NLT 1996) Now to be perfectly honest, I have no idea what a wineskin does in the smoke. But after asking google, I have determined that they shrivel up, dry out and become useless. That was pretty much my guess anyway. Do you ever feel dried up and useless? I do sometimes. It seems there's not a lot of social interaction and during those long, drawn-out alone times, it can start to feel like we are separated from the normalcy of life. Because of the trauma which launched me into caregiving, oftentimes I feel like I have lived two lives, now and BC (before caregiving). They look very different. If I don't keep my mind on the word and the truth that God doesn't change even when life does, I can become depressed, upset, w...

Find it!

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No one likes suffering. At all. Actually, we spend a lot of our lives trying to avoid it altogether. We avoid relationships that might be hurtful, as well as circumstances that might cause us internal pain. Then caregiving happens and it can feel like everything is painful all the time. While it is the most rewarding "job" on the planet, the suffering endures, pain and grief are real and constant for many of us. Sometimes we might ask what good could possibly come from all this. It's a fair question. This morning as I was preparing my video devotional for a FB group, I came across verse 71 in Psalm 119. I'm taking it a chunk at a time each morning - and boy has it been a great study! Well, at least I've enjoyed it. lol. Verse 71 says this It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes. (NASB) The New Living Translation (1996) says it this way The suffering you sent was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your principles....

Floating Away to Lala Land?

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I found this nugget this morning, I just wanted to share with you all. Sometimes it's so easy to get wrapped up in being a caregiver we forget about simple stuff out of the word. For me, I stay in survival mode  so much, there's not always room for much else. It takes everything we have, every ounce of strength to make it through the day sometimes, who can think of anything else, right? Few can understand how full  our proverbial plate really is. From daylight to dark, there is something, someone, some situation making a demand on us - on our energy. Lately, with both of us taking our rounds being sick, sleep has been lacking. That makes for long days and nights. But there is something (someone) in the midst of the storm holding it all together - and it's not me. lol. Actually, I lose it easily. I may look like I have it all together, but on the inside, I'm a big mess. My emotions are all over the place, I have fears, anxiety, self-doubt and the whole nine yards. ...

Simple Act of Reflection

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I'm still studying and sharing out of Psalm 119 in a Facebook group I work with. I had forgotten how much I loved this psalm.This morning, one verse, in particular,  stood out. Verse 55 says I reflect at night on who you are, O Lord, and I obey your law because of this. (NLT) What I got out of that was reflecting, or thinking about who He is, keeps me on the straight and narrow. Because of who He is I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. When I think about His power, His greatness, His majesty, His Lordship, His Kingship... and I could go on - I can't help but worship Him and obey Him. (These two are inseparable btw.) Where my thoughts went with this verse was to the fact (truth) that nothing here on earth changes Him one iota. Whether we face good days or bad - He's still King on the throne. His throne was not moved by my tragedy. His power was not weakened by my battle. His position on the throne did not shift in any manner because of anything I may ...