Well, It Sounds Easy

Jesus spoke some powerful words in John 14:27. He was instructing His disciples about what to do after His departure. He explained that Holy Spirit would come and help them. I'm not sure the disciples were quite ready to live life without His up-close-and-personal presence. We all enjoy those times when God's presence is almost tangible. It's the times we can't feel, hear or sense His presence that are the toughest.

Jesus offered these words for His disciples and for us: Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. Even today He offers us a peace beyond our understanding. The caregiver's world is oftentimes anything but  peaceful! There are so many  needs... and so many questions like "How am I going to handle______?" I'm sure you can fill in the blank with any number of things like finances, transportation, or other decisions that sometimes have to be made on a daily basis.

But Jesus specifically said, do not let. "Let" is an action and takes work on our part. We are not to let our hearts be troubled or fearful. It may sound easy, but it's actually rather difficult. Jesus didn't give us any exclusions either! He didn't say, let not your heart be troubled nor let it be fearful.... unless it is a worthy concern; or unless it's too big for you to handle. There is no "unless;" it's just a "don't."

Another thing I find interesting in this scripture is that twice Jesus told us He was giving us peace; and twice He told us to not be fearful. He said, peace I leave, and peace I give. Then He said don't be fearful, and don't be afraid. For me this means that there is enough peace for me to have anytime I feel fearful. His peace is enough to match up with any fears the caregiver may face. We just have to accept His peace while working through to a workable solution.


Today I will meditate on allowing His peace to reign supreme in my heart. I'll wait for His peace before addressing situations and I will purposefully allow His peace to take over my heart and replace my fears. Will you join me?

Running the Caregiver's Rat Race

Today I am reminded just how hectic the life of a caregiver can be. We might ought to apply for a juggling gig with all the things we have to do some days. We have to make and keep doctor appointments, work with aides and therapists, order supplies, stock supplies, pick up medications from the pharmacy; and that's all on top of the "normal" daily chores that have to be done like bathing, feeding, cooking, pureeing foods and just taking care of another whole adult body. Add to that some of the "normal" activities like babysitting grand-kids or shopping for groceries and you can have a pretty hectic rat race going on.

Thankfully even though our days are typically full, they are not always all that busy and full. Change is a constant friend. Psalm 46 describes some physical changes in the earth like mountains moving and shaking, and the earth being removed. Even though our physical world is not undergoing changes that drastic, as caregivers we live in a changing world where there is always "stuff to do." There's always something that needs our attention.

It's so important for us to take time to "be still." In Psalm 46, the psalmist describes world changing events but then ends it with God's words: Be still and know I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"  What a beautiful reminder to not only take time to be still and acknowledge the presence of the Almighty; but also a reminder that He will be exalted in our tumultuous situations. Even in a world that is hectic and changing, God is present, The Lord of hosts is with us: the God of Jakob is our refuge. 

Sometimes we just need to quiet our hearts and minds and say, "I remember that You are God." Our situations do not change Him or anything about Him. He is still the same all-powerful God He was before tragedy or trouble struck. Sometimes we must settle ourselves down and just be thankful that our situations are not strong enough to change anything about Him.

Today I will meditate on the fact that He is God all by Himself. He did not change the day I became a caregiver, but remains one constant in my life. I will turn my thoughts to His ever-abiding presence and be thankful that He is with me on this journey called life. Will you join me?

His Eye is On Us

David wrote the first 7 verses of Psalm 32 in first person. He is speaking to God, acknowledging his faults and thanking God for forgiveness. In verse 7, the psalmist makes this statement:

You are my hiding place,

You preserve me from trouble;

You surround me with songs of deliverance.

This he finishes off with a "Selah!" Which simply signals the reader to stop, reflect on what was just said and take a moment to think about its depth. Even though verse 7 is a powerful reminder that God is with us, providing shelter and singing over us even in the storms of life - it's the next verse that catches my eye.

In verse 8 there is a total switch and God is responding to David. He says:

I will instruct you and teach you

in the way which you should go;

I will counsel you

with My eye upon you.

God says He will instruct us, teach us and counsel us. We don't have to wander through life like we are trying to find our way out of a deep, dark forest. He provides all the help we need along the way. While I am thankful for His instruction, counsel, teaching and help, the last phrase stands out to me. God isn't just throwing instruction our direction - He has His eye on us. He is watching us - actively involved.

I take taekwondo and my instructor always has an eye on us. Right in the middle of a sparring match she may say, "when you make that kick..." or "watch for those open shots." And for me she is usually telling me to "keep your guard up" or "don't beat up the white belts." (smile) God is like that - He's not just sitting far away on His throne sending out general instructions. He is watching us and offering us specific strategies on how to deal with life. He gives us wisdom  when we ask. We have what we need - but it is good to know that He has His eyes on us. 

Today I will meditate on the truth that He sees me. I will meditate on how He is actively involved in my life. I will specifically ask Him for wisdom for today - and I will listen. Will you join me?

I'm not Stuck - I'm Going Through

I have read story after story by caregivers who feel like they are carrying the responsibility all alone; and in too many cases, they are. Caregiving can be a lonely walk. Not only are there limitations when it comes to outings, friends don't really know what to do with your new lifestyle either. They don't realize that your likes and dislikes didn't change when you became a caregiver. Did you like playing cards or going to movies before caregiving? Then it is likely that you still do. But sometimes those outings are no longer practical and in some cases they are not possible. You are the same person but your social scene may have changed. This can add to the loneliness that many caregivers experience.

The good news is that even when you feel all alone - you are not. I find myself returning to a favorite passage in Isaiah 43. It says something like this:

When you pass through the waters

I will be with you;

And through the rivers,

they will not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire

you will not be scorched,

nor will the flame burn you.

For I am the Lord your God...

Caregiving can become a heavy load if we carry it all alone; and we can feel like we are going down for the third time. And realistically, there is a lot to fear. My own fears have involved things like making financial decisions, medical decisions and a whole host of decisions all made for someone else and affecting others. What if I make the wrong decision? It can be a vicious cycle. The good thing is that we are not going through all alone. God is with us!

Notice in Isaiah each phrase includes the word, "through." It doesn't say you are stuck in the water or the fire but when you go through the trials. We are not stuck and we are not going through all alone. He is with us.

This makes me think of Psalm 23:4 where David says even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death - I will fear no evil.  Why? Because You are with me. 

Today I will meditate on the fact that God has not left me hanging in the midst of the trial. He is walking it through with me. I will remind myself that God is with me on this journey and sometimes - He has to carry me. Today I will think about relying more on His strength and less on my own - because quite frankly, mine runs out. Will you join me?

Family Resemblence

In 1 Peter 4:11, the apostle tells the reader that when we serve we are to do so with the strength  which God supplies. He also says that the final outcome of serving others is to see God glorified.When I first became a caregiver I could not see how God could possibly be glorified. After all, I was headed to the mission field to work for Him. I dealt with a lot of frustration when my "life" as I knew it was disrupted by caregiving. Our illusion has been that the only way to serve God is to work in "the church." If you don't teach Sunday School, lead worship or preach surely you are not serving Him.

Caring for our loved ones is a demonstration of the love of Christ to the rest of the world. John 15:13 quotes Jesus as saying, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We as caregivers offer a true picture of faith, love and compassion. In many instances, the caregiver has sacrificed their own lives in order to provide care for another. Isn't that what Jesus did for us? He paid the ultimate sacrifice.

One day I was caring for my son and I was mourning my old life; but I knew that I loved him too much to think about it too long - or to ever go back. In that moment I realized that it was that type of deep love that held Jesus to the cross. It's the exact same love that keeps us serving our loved ones. We bear a family resemblance, we look like Him when we serve.

Today I will meditate on His great love for me. I will think about the truth that He did not abandon me when life got ugly. Today I will continue to think about His ever abiding presence and peace in my life. I will enjoy Him today as He provides the strength to serve. Will you join me?

Without Complaint?

1 Peter 2:23 tells us that when Jesus suffered He did so without "uttering threats." I take it that He didn't yell back at His accusers or tormentors. He didn't tell them what He could do to them; and He suffered in silence. I can honestly say that I have not done that! I've said some pretty harsh things through this furnace and particularly during those really long nights. The load can become so heavy for caregivers that we speak from our pain or frustration. Many times, we don't really mean what we say - but in many cases, they are things that should never be uttered. Jesus, our example, did not speak out of turn, out of pain, and offered no complaint. He simply entrusted Himself to Him who judges righteously. 

Caregivers deal with constant pain and grief in many cases. If we follow the example our leader gave us - we are constantly presenting our pain and our situation to our Father. And we must let Him judge. Those who are on the outside of the Caregiver's Cave can be judgmental as they are just looking in at - but not actually in our situation.They can oftentimes say hurtful words, make snap judgments, or "should" on us. It can be easy for someone who is not walking through the furnace to judge. Thankfully, our Judge is not a human - He sees and knows all. He sees past our situation and into our hearts. He not only observes our deepest struggles - He understands them; and offers no condemnation.

He sees where we are and what we need; and He offers us whatever we need for our journey. Even though He is very aware of our weak spots, He offers no condemnation and supports us with His love. He offers peace, wisdom, strength...whatever we need right now to put one foot in front of the other. He has it and makes it available to us. We can rest easy in His embrace knowing that when it gets too tough - He is carrying us through.

Today I will meditate on His strength in me. I will turn my thoughts to His peace, patience and lovingkindness. I will let Him carry me when I need it. And I will rest in His embrace. Will you join me?

Faith Looks Different In the Furnace

Life brings us a series of trials. Caregivers are not exempt from trials, tribulations and troubles. We don't get a we don't get a break from life just because we are in a caregiving role. Along with taking care of another whole person, we still deal with friendships, breakups, deaths of loved ones, births, marriages and all the incidents that go with life in general. There is no exemption ticket that protects us from the rest of life just because we are a caregiver. And I'm finding that eventually, we adjust.

Most trials will pass in time; or at least settle down enough for us to handle it. The things we end up facing in life have no impact on eternity. It may be rough and tough here in the present, but our inheritance in Him is not tainted or destroyed because of the sometimes lengthy trials we must face. 1 Peter 1:3-4 tells us that we obtain an inheritance that is imperishable, and undefiled and will not fade away.  It is being reserved in heaven for us. It's not going to disappear, we just have to patiently endure tribulations in order to get to it. But it will be waiting in full!

Faith can look different from in the furnace. It's not so much a way to escape the trial as it is to face it.  The furnace exposes our faith. Verse 6 tells us to rejoice in our trials because they prove our faith in the same way fire purifies gold. However, gold is perishable; it will pass away eventually. Our faith is not perishable, it stands through it all making it more precious than gold.

Our faith is working for us while we are enduring our trial. Faith is what carries us through, even when we don't feel it. I was asked recently how I had kept the faith during my trials. My reply was I haven't - it has kept me. Faith is what holds us together when it seems our world is falling apart. Faith is what carries us through the flood, through the fire and over the mountain. It really doesn't matter if we can feel it or not - it's there with us and working for us. Today may be a good day for you - or you may feel like you are holding on by a thin thread of hope. Either way - or somewhere in between faith is working for you to ensure you can walk through the furnace; to make sure you get to the other side.

Faith comes down to trusting Him. Today I will meditate on how trustworthy God is. I will trust Him with my situation and hold on to the truth that He walks through the furnace with me. I will think about how faith cannot be destroyed even by the most intense of life's fires. I will trust Him. Will you join me?